Why am I still unhappy?

[bitconfused]

I've started having some quite bad anxiety this year surrounding my bladder (I've got a conversion disorder), and I've been seeing a psychologist and things have been getting better. I started taking medication for my bladder a few weeks ago which has given me heaps more confidence especially at school which has been good.

The issue is, even though my anxiety seems to be getting better I keep having these waves of sadness that come out of nowhere and really knock me down. For example yesterday I'd had a good first week back at school and then on Friday night I got so sad and I was crying and I couldn't calm myself down. I'm becoming really reliant on my mum because I'm scared to be alone and I'm worried because I can see that I'm being a burden and she's suffering too because of me.

I can't figure out what's making me so upset, I feel really confident with school at the moment (I'm in year 12) and I have a great group of friends and family who are really supportive. I'm always a little bit worried about my bladder but since I've been on the meds I don't think that's it. Each time I get sad though it ramps up my anxiety because I'm worried I'll feel that sad again tomorrow or in a public place or something. I feel hopeless like it'll never get better again.

I don't know, I know most people have it a lot worse than I do but I'm just so sick of it and I'm sick of hurting mum, she does so much for me.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

What a great daughter you are, worrying about your mum.

There could be one of several things possible for excessive sadness like maturity challenges or something like dysthymia one condition I have.

We cant diagnose here, we are people with mental illnesses. Best to ask your mum if you can attend your GP for some professional guidence. But you are brave to question why. I went 53 years of my 61 years not knowing why I was so sad all the time.

Tony WK

[Zeal]

Hey bitconfused,

Welcome to the forum!

This bladder symptom of the conversion disorder must have been frustrating, so I'm glad you are now taking prescribed medication that works. Continuing to see your psychologist and also your doctor/GP will ensure you keep on top of your mental health.

Having these low-mood periods regularly must be tough. While it is kind that you are thinking about your Mum's needs and feelings, it's still important that you keep accepting this emotional support from her. You need and deserve this support at the moment, and your Mum would be glad that you are open and trusting with her. Too many people with mental health challenges shut people out emotionally. Like you, I leaned on my Mum a fair bit when I was struggling. To this day I am so thankful, and my Mum seeing me well and happy now has more than made up for the tough period she endured with me. So long as you're appreciative (you certainly sound it), requiring extra support from a parent doesn't mean you're a burden. I was 19 when I was struggling with an eating disorder, and while I was technically an adult, it didn't change the fact that I am my Mum's kid and needed extra support at that time.

I'm pleased to hear that you're doing well with Year 12, and that you have great support from friends and family. Hopefully talking to your psychologist about these waves of sadness will shed some light on the cause. You could keep a journal of some sort, to track how you're doing emotionally.

It would be great to hear back from you 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

[P__W_]

Hey there bitconfused!

This post sounds a lot like my relationship with anxiety. Mine likes to express itself as headpain, headtics and whatever else it's in the mood for.

i am constantly being struck down by deep waves of depression, often with no obvious cause. I will be feeling really good about myself and achieving lots, but then my anxiety lets me know of it's different view of the events (most often with blistering migraines, zapping of all energy, and then the even worse; conscious side of depression and it's agonising thoughts.)
It wasn't until recently that I discovered the main cause of these slumps. And that is 'invalidation'.

ive always been quite positive and practical of my chronic pain, and tried to be just as well achieving as everyone else, avoiding making a big deal out of my illness (and unknowingly belittling it to myself).

Ive endured over seven years of this pain, and with no relief and very little answers, I made myself just get on with my life and accept that maybe I will never be cured.
But I never stopped comparing myself to other people and what they found so easy.
So I just would just try harder. And the pressure would build until I'd reach burning point and would collapse in a pile for days, recovering.

I've never thought of myself as a perfectionist (I am the messiest, most disorganised person you'll ever meet) . But everyone's idea of 'perfect' is different.
Perfect to me was often being able to live a normal life. But that is something that my illness disallows me from achieving.
And anyway, who is normal?or perfect? There really isnt such things. They're illusions. and besides, it's our differences that make it worthwhile.
And when this is accepted, you may just be able to truly accept yourself and it's acheivements.

You are alive.

You are incredibly strong.

Resiliant.

Winning battles every day!

And asking for help when you need it!

These are all amazing things! You should be exetremely proud and love yourself immensely for them.

Accept and celebrate the little victories, they add up!

And Don't invalidate yourself or anything you achieve. Do not invalidate your emotions or feelings. Respect them, listen to them. Try your best , and celebrate the result. Don't compare your best to someone else's best, it doesn't help anything!

P.W.