When the best years of your life are the worst

[Jemma_123]

I have noticed latley no matter how nice a day it is I constantly feel that empty sad feeling inside of me, my life is not enjoyable and i dont know what to do. Growing up in my teen years my father was physically & mentally abusive which has effected me alot, although I have moved out for a few years now I waste my twentys doing nothing as I do not have the confidence do anything but watch people enjoy their life through social media while I sit on my couch. I often feel as the world keeps moving foward along with the people around me but I keep falling further & further backwards. I feel so low all the time & the only person who knows about my deppression & anxiety is my psychologist but I am to scared to see her again because I feel selfish & stupid as there are people worse off then me & I dont want to annoy her or anyone else.

[geoff]

hi Jemma, you are NOT annoying anyone here, so please feel as though you are in trusted hands.
Being in your twentys should be where you are having all the fun in the world, but infortunately for you this is happening where you are feeling as though the world is passing you by, and that's sad.
I hope that you don't have to live with your parents now.
Sure there are people worse off than us, but that's not how you are, because here, we are only talking about you and not those other people, and when you are feeling depressed and lousy, then that's what we have to do try and get you out of feeling this way, just as your psychologist will help you as well, as you are never selfish nor stupid in going back to see her.
I never like it when any parent is abusive to their children, it's inexcusable and really a disgraceful and weak way to handle their kids and should never happen, because what it does is to destroy your confidence and self esteem and doesn't give you the energy to go out and try and enjoy yourself.
This is something that you need to take slowly, by going out with a friend to a movie, zoo, races, beach, football or just for lunch, but it's something that you mustn't overdo at the beginning, otherwise your anxiety will kick in and then go back to where you were.
You can't hold all of this in, it needs to be talked about with someone you are friends with, as they may suggest ideas for the both of you to do.
What I would also suggest is to read a few other posts by different people, and then perhaps you could reply back to them, even if it's just a short message, as this will give you the chance to gain a bit of confidence, and don't worry if it's only a sentence.
Could you also please go back to your psychologist and if money to pay her is a problem, then go to your doctor who can put you on a 'mental health plan', which entitles to 10 free visits per year.
Really hope to hear back from you. Geoff. x

[Neil_1]

Hi there Jemma,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you so much for posting here.

I’m very sorry to hear of the awful teenage years that you experienced, and like Geoff, it really disgusts me to hear of anyone (let alone a parent) being this way to a child (and in this instance, their own child). It makes me angry and I so hope that as you continue on your life’s journey this can be somehow addressed by a counsellor if you need, so it won’t impact too much on you.

On here, we do not compare one person to another, as Geoff mentioned.

You’re not in a good way and that is all that needs to be said. You are the most important person and as such, your issues are the most important.

Are you currently working? If so, do you like your job and are you on good terms with some of your colleagues?

Or perhaps, you’re still studying?

Would really like to know, so we can try to devise a better response for you.

Like Geoff mentioned, please please get back to your psychologist – this is their profession, this is what they do and no way in the world should you be feeling selfish or stupid; get those two words written down on a piece of paper and go outside and bury them. Never to use them again in terms of yourself.

“Watching other people enjoying their life through social media”. Hmmm, are they really? To me (and I’m a bit of a dinosaur when it comes to this), if someone is getting their enjoyment out of social media and the like, then perhaps their ‘own’ life isn’t exactly ringing bells for them. It always amuses me nowadays to see so many with their phone in their hand or attached to their ear or whatever things they do with them.

People, people people, get out and live a little. Do your own things, etc. But then again, as I said, I’m a dinosaur and each to their own.

Jemma, what things do you enjoy?

Movies, sport, physical activities (running, swimming, gym, etc), music, any hobbies that you like to do? Or even perhaps if not now, what did you like to do, or feel you were good at? These can be great starters for someone who is feeling at a bit of a loss – maybe they’ve just forgotten things in the past that they enjoyed.

Anyway, think I’ll post this now and it’d be awesome to hear back from you.

Neil

[topsy_]

Hi Jemma,

I'm sorry for the tough times you are experiencing. I have read that "they" (whoever they are!) say there is a new condition caused by social media. People can feel left out because everyone else on social media is having a blast! But as Neil says, are they really? Or are we being duped & then feeling badly about ourselves needlessly?

The question I wanted to ask you though - is it at all possible for you to get a dog? They are so loving & they don't care how we look or feel. You'd also be able to take a dog on little walks & see the outside world which would benefit both of you.

I love my dog - & our cat. Our dog is a real lap dog. She's getting old now - 15+ - but she has taught me all about unconditional love. (I wish I'd learnt that before I had kids!).

Anyway Jemma, it's just a little thought. Neil & Geoff have given you other good ideas.

Take good care of yourself, Lyn.