Hi FD,
Thanks for sharing your story. Geoff raises some really good points. OCD by definition is a condition where there is a compulsion and/or obsession with "something", usually a thought or chain of thoughts, which then become reinforced by the physical manifestation of the condition (ie: anxiety), thus reinforcing and cementing the habit behaviour.
Clearly, there are ways to soften the physical manifestations of the condition over time, and thus dull the impact of the thought habits, make them less imposing and thus less obstructive of your day to day. As Geof mentioned, he now thinks nothing of it. But, it takes time and it often takes help. You should definitely see a behavioural therapist at the earliest, and start working on fixing this.
Another way to gain control over the mental and physical side is by practicing mindfulness. Simply Google the term, and you'll find many references to what mindfulness is and how to implement it in your day to day life. I promise you, it can change just about every aspect of your day, and improve your life drastically by giving you back control, helping dull the effects of OCD, anxiety, depression etc. and allow you to see clearly that thoughts are just thoughts, feelings are just feelings, they are universal and they are temporary. They can NOT last, they come and go. It is our ability to not allow them to habituate that gives us back control.
I wish you well FD, come back and chat anytime.
Steve
