WHat is wrong with me?

[annonymoussss]

hi, I am new to this website and i need some help.

I am in 7th grade and i think there might be something wrong with me.

I am extremely self-conscious about my body, and it has gotten worse over the last couple days. I feel like my stomach is too chubby and my legs are too big and my face is ugly. I have been feeling really sad and I have been distancing myself from my friends at school. I haven't told any of them because i feel like they wont care. I have been crying quite a bit (secretly) at home today and yesterday and i have been saying im tired but i just feel really sad.

Another thing is sometimes i have these weird days where i feel like my stomach is constantly ina not and it is harder to breathe and i feel constantly nervous. I sometimes start hyperventilating and feeling really restless and bad about my self.

I havent told anyone about how i feel, and it sometimes gets worse than what i explained here but it is too complicated to explain. I want to know if i should suck it up and tell someone or is this nothing and I'm overreacting. Does this sound like something serious of just me being dumb. Thank you xx

[Nickname_65BD5CCF-CA54-46]

I havent told anyone about how i feel, and it sometimes gets worse than what i explained here but it is too complicated to explain. I want to know if i
should suck it up and tell someone or is this nothing and I'm
overreacting. Does this sound like something serious of just me being dumb. Thank you xx

You're not dumb. And hell no, you shouldn't just suck it up.

A lot of what you are feeling covers a range of normal and possible depression/anxiety, and you're going to need to talk to someone to find out which. It's clearly no fun in feeling sad lots. And though it's fine to cry, if it's related to body image and sadness at life then you really should fix it rather than putting up with it.

[geoff]

hello, and I'd like to welcome you to the site and it's very brave of you to have the courage to post a comment here on this site, but you have so well done.
Being in grade 7 means that your body is still undergoing a dramatic change and will do so for a long time, and that's what concerns you, but what you look like now certainly doesn't mean that you will the same when you're in your 20's, just as your friends at school they too will change, and this reminds me of a 20 year reunion of my school mates and whow I could hardly notice some of them and these people were my close friends at school.
By how someone feels doesn't mean that you have to suck it up, because once this happen then other problems which you are thinking about just add on to all these other problems and before you know it you end up in a total confusion.
This should never happen because it then starts to affect your study in class and the grades that you once were getting start to fall, we don't want this to happen because you're just young and have a long career ahead of you, so the longer you keep this quite the worse it will become, talk to your school counsellor or if doesn't suit you then ask your parents that you would like to see the doctor.
They may ask you why, and as your parents will be hoping that nothing is seriously wrong with you, well there is if you are feeling like this, they may disagree, but they should always put themselves into your shoes and look at it that way, and take you to see the doctor.
If you feel comfortable talk to your parents, because if you do have other problems as well as this then the medicine is to talk to someone you can trust.
Lovely to hear from you and hope that you can get back to us. Geoff.

[White_Rose]

Dear Annonymoussss

Hello and welcome. As Geoff has said, it's really very courageous of you to write in here. Many people find this difficult so we already know something about you and it's great.

I am guessing you are 12-13 yo. Is that correct? At this age you are changing from a child to a young adult and the hormonal changes can be difficult to manage. Are you male or female? Not that it matters here, just makes it easier to relate to you.

It would probably surprise you to find many of your friends feel very much the way you are feeling and they also are nervous about talking to someone. Because we get embarrassed about something we are hesitant to talk about it and often presume our friends would also be embarrassed or not want to talk. This may well be true but does not make you ugly or stupid in any way.

Grok's comment You're not dumb. And hell no, you shouldn't just suck it up is exactly right. Please ask one of your parents to take you to see your GP and explain to him/her what is troubling you. What I often suggest to people is to copy and print their post, or all these posts, and I suggest this for you. Show it to your parents and/or doctor as that will start the conversation more easily.

It has been a long time since I was a teenager but I have not forgotten what it was like. Since then I have had four children, two girls and two boys, and gone through this with them. Also, to a lesser extent with some of my eight grandchildren. Some are still very young. Everyone is different and gets through this period in their lives differently to everyone else. There is no right or wrong way as we grow and change at different rates.

I'm sure you have heard the expression there is no stupid question except the one you don't ask, and this applies here. Talk to mom or dad and arrange to see your GP in case you are experiencing some depression or anxiety. I doubt it really but I may be wrong. Get checked out and then you will know.

I would love to hear from you again and hopefully learn that you have spoken with someone about your concerns.

Mary

[annonymoussss]

Thank You. I'm sorry its taken so long to reply, i've been avoiding checking for responses as i was scared to see them for some reason.

I wouldnt say i've gotten any better but i have told a friend some small bits about how i feel but nothing too significant for her to worry. At the moment I'm working on talking to my mom but i really don't know how as i find nothing worse than talking about how i feel.

Your reply helped me though and i would like to really thank you.

[annonymoussss]

As i said in my other reply i am sorry for taking long to reply, i was trying to build up the courage to check what they said.

I have not talked to anyone yet, but i am getting there. School has been quite stressful lately so its been tough but im working on it. Talking about how i feel has always been hard for me so i am grateful to recieve such kind replies from people like you.

I will try and update you if i tell someone, which i hope i can soon.

xxx Thank you

[annonymoussss]

You have been so nice, thank you.

I have not yet told anyone but i am working on it and hopefully i can soon. And i hope soon i can get back to you and tell you that everything is ok.

I did not expect such kind people to reply to this and it really helped me a lot.

I will update you on how im going soon i hope. Thank you