Trying to improve but losing the war

[Zeraxero]

Hi my name is Hayden and I have had depression, anxiety and border line personality disorder for more than half my life. I'm 21 and since I was 16 I have been completely isolated on a farm with no friends or even a caring family. I'm morbidly obese and I feel that it is a large part of my self loathing. Even before I was 16 I was physically, emotionally and sexually harassed at school and no one cared. I'm trying to turn my life around and getting my weight and depression handled go hand in hand. Since I have never known happiness I get easily deterd from my weightloss as it feels like I will ever overcome it and thus my depression wins. I weigh 167kgs and just want an incredibly easy diet that is the same thing every day that is low calorie. Because of how I am I don't have any concern for my wellbeing as if I wasn't around it wouldn't affect anything. My doctor can't help me with a dietian for over 3 weeks and even then the dietian doesn't really understand the interaction with mental health. I am seeing someone for mental health and it usually goes ok but I lose hope as I've never had anything good or worth caring about before. Has anyone been in a similar place and had to lose about the same amount of weight? Thanks if you can help 🙂 

[white knight]

Hi Hayden, welcome

I'm from a family of overweight people. My sister at around 165kg, me at around 120kg but was 135kg and so on.

I've tried every weight loss program on the planet, so it seems. You are right, depression and weight loss go hand in hand. So a few suggestions.

Firstly there is no denying it- lower calories and exercise. Its easier for me because my wife is also overweight and we have joined (last July) a local hospital gym which is low cost and always we are the only ones there. Hence my weight loss.

My wife is using shakes now, 3 a day with the occasional day 2 shakes and one small standard meal. She is losing weight fast.

If you lose say 15 kg your attitude will change and it will change your views. So make that your first challenge. I used to walk around my house 50 times. Sounds silly but that meant 5 kms. Walking of any sort is useless unless its for at least 20 minutes though and quick not slow.

Can you start up a walking club? There is also a thread here on walking...not far from the top of the thread list...look for it.

Good to see you here, its a start. Well done

Tony WK

[blondguy]

Hi Zerax

Thankyou for having the courage to post. I used to be really overweight as well.

Tony WK is very right here. Depression and weight go hand in hand unfortunately Zerax. I used to raid the fridge many times a day. You can still recover though Zerax.

When I was very overweight I used every ounce of strength I had to stop my sugar intake. It was the hardest step I have ever taken and I couldn't stand it...but eventually became used to it....and still am doing the same.

I love my Streets Blue Ribbon Ice Cream and my snacks big time and miss them too 😞  but in the long run I lost a stack of weight and even though I feel so much better I do miss everything I used to eat. I dont mean to be negative in anyway Zerax but I especially miss my pasta that I used to love to eat..

I couldnt afford to go to gym..so I had to do little walks and attack the carbs & sugar head on. I had no other choice. But it has worked big time.

I do hope you find some value from our experience Zerax

Paul

[Zeraxero]

ive lost 42kgs total so far and regained 9 kgs since start of last year. currently i do atleast a half hour of spin bike which is 6+k's. I also lift weights. i am completely isolated on a farm and cannot leave unless for a doctors appointment as i cant transport myself and rely on my parents for it. Currently i am considering just eating 3 meals a day of 2 weetbix with some milk, not enough nutrients but i dont really know what to do and as i said i dont really have any concern for my wellbeing as i just dont care, illd gladly risk my life to lose the weight. A big reason for me wanting to lose the weight is i want to have a fresh start, no weight problems , have my depression undercontrol, have a job and then maybe i can have friends and try to find a girlfriend. Its sad but thats all that keeps me going is hoping that its all worth it in the end as my life so far has left me with little hope and with my weight being such a big problem and it feeds into my depression and vice versa. Every year that goes past that hope gets reduced. I live in a country town and there is next to no help for mental illness or obesity but i am unable to be anywhere else.

[blondguy]

Hi Zerax

Losing 42kilos is a huge effort...well done...Your isolation from any mental health services is a pain...I feel for you on that one. Just a query though...most Shires/Councils have a social worker or even sometimes a psychiatric nurse who are great value. When I was stuck at home with severe anxiety they sent out a psych nurse to my home and he was just great.

Even though remote...see what your local shire/government has available and let me know if you can

Kind Thoughts

Paul