This past year my personal hygiene has declined dramatically to where I will go up to two weeks without bathing....

MsCroft · ‎01-03-2016

I've been depressed for as long as I could remember, but it's never been this bad. I don't feel the need to shower, wash my hair, brush my hair or teeth, I barely leave my room, and I've become pale. I usually don't eat food, but when I do, It's junk food. I've lost a lot of weight (Which I am not complaining about) But I'm losing it to fast. I usually get told I smell and I get super defensive and sad to the point where I have a complete meltdown, I just can't work up the energy to allow my personal hygiene to be accepted.... I feel ugly, and there's nothing I can do... Why is this happening? I know it's disgusting and rather inhuman... But I can't change this, I barely wash my clothes.... Help.

Guest_1055 · ‎01-03-2016

Hello MsCroft

I know what it is like to have no energy, to physically take care of yourself. Even your basic human needs. As you have had depression a long time, you mostly know it is hard to care about anything sometimes.

Is there anyone at your place that could help you? Perhaps even prepare a small healthy meal. I would encourage you to stay clear of the junk food. I do speak from personal experience here. As eating this just robs your physical body. You feel like absolute crap. I know it is hard to motivate yourself. But please try, even eating a fresh banana would be a benefit. At the moment I am in to grapes, as they are pretty cheap.

I do think as soon as you start nourishing your body with the proper nutrients it actually needs to function, you will start to have a bit more energy. Then little by little ......just baby steps things may improve a bit for you.

You obviously have a bit of fight in you to act defensive. So there is a bit of strength there within you. You can too this!

Baby steps....baby steps....baby steps

Here is a hug, I am sending out to you, if you like hugs.

I care about you,with love

Shell xx

Zeal · ‎01-03-2016

Hi Ms Croft,

Welcome to the forum!

I was so concerned after reading your post! If you don't mind me asking, have you been diagnosed with depression by a professional before? Or sought treatment? I urge you to get a home-visit by a general practitioner (could be your family doctor). Your rapid weight loss and lack of interest in basic aspects of routine life such as washing and eating are concerning, but are treatable. You can get better if you seek help now.

Is your severe lack of motivation and lack of interest in food (and resulting weight loss) accompanied by symptoms such as severe tiredness and feelings of intense sadness? You can talk to your doctor about what could have caused this period of depression. It will help to be able to tell them how long this has been going on for.

I hope you can get help soon! If you live with your parents, talk to them about what's going on so that you have their support.

Best wishes,

SM

MsCroft · ‎01-03-2016

Yes, I have been diagnosed with depression and general anxiety disorder. I started on medication. I just haven't been feeling myself, My family are not being supportive, telling me I don't need antidepressants, when clearly I do. I have a doctors appointment to get a referral for mental health team.

Guest_1055 · ‎02-03-2016

Hello

I was thinking of you, and just wondering how you are today. I do hope you start to feel better soon.

Much love to you

Shelley xxx

MsCroft · ‎02-03-2016

Hey Shelley,

Thanks for asking how my day is going, not too many people are concerned about my day. This morning I was able to eat a piece of toast and im drinking as much water as possible, as I have been told im severely dehydrating my body. My day is like any other day, not good or bad, just another day. Dosen't really change.

Thanks again for asking how I am.... It means a lot.

Kind Regards,

Oliviah

Starwolf · ‎02-03-2016

Hi again MsCroft,

I did post on your other thread and you have already received excellent advice here, so I'll be brief.

Yes, that's what depression does to you...You have been fighting against others within your school environment and also yourself. No wonder you're exhausted to the point that you have no motivation left.

You do not have to go it alone and you know this as you have already taken a few brave steps towards accessing support. So well done, give yourself a pat on the back. Perhaps your family is not supportive because they know little about what depression really is. Few people do. I hope that -somewhere along the line- your parents will be offered the opportunity to learn why you are suffering and what they can do to help ease the pain. This info is often better accepted if it comes from knowledgeable outsiders (like a therapist). It is also important that you should seek support from your school if a counselor is is available.

Learning to cope with depression is a long road, with ups and downs, tight curves and obstacles on the way. It also has its glorious moments and victories. It will be well worth the effort in the end... and so are you. Depression can be managed so that you can reclaim the quality of life that you deserve.

As posted before, you are a beautiful person but depression blinds us to the beautiful side of life and also our own. You deserve both being supported and looking after yourself. As Shelley so rightly pointed out...one small step at a time does it. No one else can do this for you but we will be here for you through setbacks and victories alike.

You've already made great, positive decisions so thank you again for your contribution. It is much appreciated.

Guest_1055 · ‎03-03-2016

Good Morning Olivah

Did you sleep well last night? I am glad you at least ate a piece of toast. So if you live at a boarding school, would you normally go to a community dining room to eat then? Today I am going to try and eat plenty of vegetables and fruit. And like you.... drink plenty of water.

If I am not being too nosey... Like what subjects are you studying?

I do hope you have a better day today.

With much love and hugs ( do you like hugs)

Shelley xx

MsCroft · ‎03-03-2016

Hey Starwolf,

Thank you, and I am aware that depression is hard for some to understand as only a few do, but I do not have the words to explain it, and even if I did, I'm sure they wouldn't suffice... And on my other thread you said it's a natural thing, but I never really took notice to any of it because the world never phased me, I've always been by myself, no friends or anything. I moved around a lot which didn't leave me a lot choices. I'm letting it all affect me to the point even when people aren't saying anything about me or towards me, I hear their voice repeating negative things........ AT this rate, I'll be a middle aged woman, living in a rented flat, curtains cosed, dark rooms, fifty cats, and Netflix...... Ugh! 😞

Kind Regards, Oliviah.

MsCroft · ‎03-03-2016

Good Morning Shelley,

I didn't sleep much last night, I fell asleep at 12 and woke up at 6:30.... I do eat at a big dining hall, where I usually just sit there, I've been told to eat and almost forced to, But I usually grab a plate of food and play with it with my fork........ Fruits and Vegetables are good, especially water! :3

Not being nosy at all...

I do-

English

Math

Cert II in information digital media

Music

HPE and I have one spare.

I am currently failing at HPE simply because I'm too scared to go.

I hope you're having a fantastic day, and yes I don't mind hugs.

Kind Regards, Oliviah.