stressed, stuck and unmotivated

[Triskaidekaphobia]

Hi,

I'm currently in year 12 and the end of the year is fast approaching. On one hand, that's great, I can't wait to leave school, but on the other hand it's too much to handle. This week specifically I have felt exhausted and hopeless, I can barely find the energy to do my homework as everything is just too much. Now I have wrecked my chances of getting a good mark on a literature SAC that is this week as I haven't even been able to finish one practice piece. I haven't talked to my parents or teacher about this because I'm ashamed and embarrassed. I don't want to let my parents down and I don't want to confront my Lit teacher at all. I've just been waiting. I've been waiting for the fun outside of school events I have coming up, waiting for it all to be over, and now I'm stuck. 

I feel like giving up but I've come so far. It just all feels so un worth it when I don't even think I want to go to uni next year. I would rather get my first job as due to covid I haven't had the time to get one.  

I think I have undiagnosed things but I feel too embarrassed to suggest something and get it wrong even though I know it would make things just the slightest bit easier. I just don't know where to start. 

[Sophie_M]

Hi Triskaidekaphobia,

Thank you for posting here on the forums this afternoon. We'd like to welcome you to our wonderful online community and we'd also like to encourage you to look around, continue to share and to also contribute on other posts as much as you would like.

We're really sorry to hear how much you've been struggling with school (specifically your HSC and the end of your schooling, being in year 12), and we want you to know that we hear the detrimental impact it's having on you, and how you feel as though you don't want to talk to your parents or your teacher about this, that you're feeling stuck, and that you're really feeling as though you just want to give up sometimes. You've also mentioned the fact that you think you may have undiagnosed things as well, but that you're too embarrassed to suggest anything and/or fear getting it wrong as well...

We're really glad that you've reached out and we recognise that our first step is often one of the hardest, Triskaidekaphobia. We're really sure that you'll get some great advice and support here on the forums, but we'd also like to suggest that perhaps you might like to try and speak with someone about this sooner rather than later - a good place to start is often our GP? Another option we'd love to suggest to you is that perhaps you consider giving us a call here at Beyond Blue as well? You can phone us on 1300 22 4636 and/or access webchat (both available 24/7) and speak to qualified counsellors (all free and completely confidential) any time you might feel overwhelmed by the feelings and overwhelm that you're experiencing, and also to get some helpful suggestions and/or referrals as well.... 

We hope to hear from you soon Triskaidekaphobia.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[MaddieT]

Hi,

Not currently going through the Year 12 stuff but totally understand. That was not an easy year for me and I didn't have to deal with a Pandemic! Just wanted to say - Take a deep breath, take a bubble bath, plant something in your garden, eat chocolate brownies in bed. While doing these things focus clearly on the sensations. Feel your lungs expand, watch the bubbles burst on your skin, feel the dirt under your fingernails, relish in the chocolatey goodness. Give yourself a break. And when you have done that, well life comes back, but you now have touch stones in your memory to remind you that some things are within your control and they are joyous. This won't change the outside world but it might change your ability to face it. Know that we all feel embarrassed, we all feel ashamed and we all feel like we have let someone down. That's called being human. The greatest thing you will learn is that when you speak those people - they may not be feeling the way you think they are.

Never feel embarrassed about asking for medical help if you need it - would you be embarrassed about a broken bone? the measles? a splinter that you can't get out? Taking care of your health, mind and body is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. Wishing you all the best X

[ecomama]

Warm welcome to the forums, Trisk. It's great you've joined up here! WELL DONE. 

It's OKAY. Doing Year 12 is a marathon, not a sprint! It's freaking HARD maintaining the same level of focus on study for so long. 

Yep, you're "almost there". Please don't put everything on that final results package. So many kids make choices at this time which is devastating and it's NOT an all encompassing thing! 

If I were your parent (I'm a parent to many children btw and have been thru similar supporting my own children), I would be SO grateful you opened up to me. If I were your teacher well.... it's your teacher's responsibility to support your learning, your success and your achievements. Lean on them a little. 

You won't be the first student to approach a teacher in panic mode. You will not be the last to do this by far! 
This happens on the regular. Teachers must be equipped to SUPPORT you. It's part of their job description - yes I know that too. 

Sweetheart, there's nothing to be ashamed of! Shame and embarrassment can be dissipated by sharing with someone you trust, someone who has your back. 
Maddie is right, we ALL feel these uncomfortable emotions multiple times in life. 
What we do with them is the most important thing. 

Jump into action by sharing. 

I LOVE hearing my child say they're keen to get a job!
My children all work. It's their FUN place lol plus getting their own money is AWESOME!. 

Then they realise WHAT they want to do in their futures. Some think "oh not this forever please!" hahaha. 

You're doing great! 
You can ask to see your GP about potential diagnoses. 
You can go online with e-Headspace and chat with experienced YOUTH Counsellors there. 

You've got this, so much. I'm proud of you. 
Love EM

[MaddieT]

Hey - just checking in. How are you? Thinking of you. Take care

[Triskaidekaphobia]

Hi! Thank you so much for your reply, it made me feel so much better just reading it. I'm currently not really in a better place as I still feel stuck in fear of failure and embarrassment, but I have at this point acknowledged that I probably won't get as good of a mark as I would have wanted. I still am unsure when or how I want to approach talking to my parents as I don't want to stress myself out tonight (as it is the night before) and instead try and calm myself and study, so I am prepared to not freak out tomorrow morning. Other than that I am trying to seek help for my mental health overall, and I am seeking ways of doing so! Thanks again hope you are having a nice day/night.