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Strategies for when overwhelmed
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Does anyone know ways to calm myself down when I'm feeling irritable or how to make myself feel less sad for no reason? I'm a teen, and I know that being emotional and irritable are normal, but sometimes these feelings overwhelm me, and that makes the feelings ten times worse. Is there anything I can do to calm down?
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Hi Ellaminowpea,
I remember how difficult it was going through those teen years, everything seems to be bigger than it really is and the emotions go a bit haywire.
There are a few things you can do to settle yourself when this happens.
First one would be to use breathing exercises that calm the nervous system. Try taking in as deep a breath as you can, hold it for 2 or 3 seconds, then breathe out at slowly as you can until your lungs are empty before taking another breath. The particular exercise puts pressure on the vagus nerve and signals the nervous system to return to a regulated state. This is something you can do anywhere and anytime.
If you have some time to just be still and meditate, emptying your mind of all the thoughts that are running around in your head and just breathing in a controlled way, in for the count of 4, hold for the count of 4 and out for the count of 4, you will soon become more settled. You may need to do this for a short time to begin with until you get used to it, so try starting with 5 - 10mins and work your way up to 20 mins a day (or longer if you are finding it helpful). The benefits of meditation are cumulative so the more you do it, the more you will notice the effect of it.
If you are like me, and have a difficult time doing sitting meditation, then try walking meditation. This can be done anywhere but ideally in a nature setting. The beach, a park, a garden, a lake etc. In this case just walk while concentrating on your breathing, controlled as above, and observe your surroundings, trees, animals, birds, plants, etc. The idea of any meditation is to empty your mind of the thoughts that are troubling you.
Some of the martial arts like Tai Chi and Qigong are also very helpful, perhaps there is a martial arts group near by that you could join as this would be beneficial mentally and physically.
Let me know what you think.
Take care,
indigo
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Ellaminowpea,
Thank you for reaching out, welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling overwhelmed.
You're right in that it is a common experience for teens, as there are so many changes. Physical changes to our bodies, within our bodies, and to our external environment too. It can get overwhelming sometimes. I know I was a very irritable teen. I had a few ways of dealing with that feeling of being overwhelmed.
I had (and still have) several hobbies that I liked to do as a teen, and they would help me deal with stress quite well. I'm a writer, and I enjoy painting, singing, anything creative. These were ways for me to de-stress when I felt like the world was getting too much.
I'm not much of a TV watcher myself, but I do have a "comfort show" for when I'm feeling overwhelmed and just want something familiar. For me, that's Stranger Things, which I've watched so many times and will probably watch so many more times.
I also had a journal during my teenage years, for every time I felt sad, excited, scared, irritable, angsty, anything where I felt I needed to let something out on paper. Journaling doesn't have to be writing either - finding something to draw, or colouring in a black and white image can be very therapeutic too. Find a quiet, tranquil space, maybe play some nice relaxing meditation music, and just let yourself be alone with your thoughts, some coloured pencils, and a piece of paper.
I'll suggest meditation, and I know this doesn't work for everybody, but it may be good to try if you've never had a go at it. Same with listening to relaxing videos when you're feeling overwhelmed. They can really help to put you in a better headspace.
Otherwise, one of my go-to techniques was a stress ball. I'd keep one in my bag and squeeze it whenever I felt really tense and irritable. It was calming for me.
I hope this helps, and I really do empathise with you. It's not nice to feel overwhelmed, particularly when you're dealing with so much as a teen. We're here to chat with you some more if you need, too.
Take care, SB
