Scared of war, apocalypse, doomsday, death...

[Bec_98]

Hi everyone, I'm new here.

I'm 18/19 and have had depression, anxiety & OCD for a few years now, but for the past year or two I've been doing quite well... up until recently.

When all the news about the North Korea situation started surfacing a month or so ago I found a video basically simulating and explaining what would happen to the world if nuclear war broke out (including the 'nuclear winter' theory) and from then on I was terrified of nuclear war/WW3 breaking out. Every time I thought about it or saw the latest news headlines relating to it I would get very anxious, scared and would cry.

This continued on and off for a few weeks and then progressed to thinking up scenarios of other disasters such as an apocalypse/doomsday, economic breakdown, worldwide disease outbreak etc and a general fear of dying, the afterlife (or lack thereof), being in a crisis without my parents or boyfriend with me and dying without them...the list goes on.

The smallest things seem to trigger my fear/anxiety and I find it difficult to 'not think about it'. Sometimes I can think logically and tell myself that certain things won't happen for certain reasons, but then my anxiety kicks in and says 'but what if it did?' or 'but what if this happened?' and I get upset again. When I'm not scared, I just feel depressed and have the feeling of impending doom. It's very difficult to go about my daily chores and carry out my home business duties and I have been avoiding social activities at the fear of having a breakdown in front of people. It's very hard to get to sleep at night and have spent a lot of nights sharing the bed with my mum for company/comfort when my boyfriend is unable to come over due to work.

I am booked in to see a psychiatrist next week and my mum and I are looking into doing some meditation/yoga together, but I recently discovered NLP and am wondering if this is something I should look at getting as well. I have considered going back on medication but would prefer not to rely on medication, although I am starting to think I may need it.

Is anyone else here struggling or has struggled with similar fears/anxiety? Is there a name for these feeling & fears? What have you found to help? Could anyone offer some wisdom on the subjects concerning me?

It took a lot of courage for me to post this so publicly (even if anonymously) and I would greatly appreciate any replies.

Thankyou 🙂

[White_Rose]

Hello Bec

How are you going with your psychiatrist sessions? Do you find them helpful? I hope you gave him/her a copy of your list above as it will be easier for both of you talk about your fears.

May I suggest you stay with your psychiatrist for a while. I get the feeling you are trying all sorts of places and therapies to help your anxiety. It's good you are asking for help and trying to find answers to your fears. What will not work is expecting a quick fix from anyone or any process.

In some ways it is like going through grief. You have lost your sense of security and feel scared and anxious about what will happen. You are grieving for your lost safety. Just like any loss it takes time to get accustomed to another way of living. My mom died 17 years ago. It was a year before I stopped bursting into tears when I thought of her and I still miss her very much. I was also afraid of life without her in the background because she had such a huge place in my life. As I said your anxieties are similar.

Keep working with your psych to find ways to help you with these uncertainties. There is no quick or magic cure. I wish there was. In spite of this, going through this grief will give you more insight into your strengths, into how you can stay in control of your life. I expect this sounds a bit airy fairy at the moment. Quite probably it is but once you start managing your fears you will be surprised how much more you can manage.

Sometimes I think I'm on the mend, but it always seems to come back. Also known as two steps forward and one step back. Happens all the time so you are not strange or different about this. Keep talking to your psych and living every day as best you can.

Mary

[Bec_98]

Hi everyone, feeling a little anxious today. Made the mistake of reading the news headlines yesterday and found out about the South China Sea US Destroyer incident, and mum (who isn't aware of my fears specifically, just knows about my anxiety/depression of late but not the reasons) told me about the latest missile (test?) launch by NK which was even more fuel to the fire. Add that to the 'Cyber Warfare' headline from the other day and my latest health fears, and the anxiety-fire is burning bright.

Lately I haven't been able to stop thinking about what we would do/where we would go and if we would be okay/survive if some sort of war did break out.

Mary, the appointments have been helpful with managing my general anxiety and she gave me the recommendations of Smiling Mind, daily exercise and more, which have helped me quite a bit. But I just don't feel that 'connection' that I've had with other therapists in the past, and we don't spend much time talking about my thoughts/worries. But to be completely honest, I think I'm expecting too much, I really just want people to tell me these thoughts aren't going to become reality because of so-and-so reasons, I just want to know for sure that it's going to be okay, but I know that there's no one in the world who has those answers. I've been thinking about going back to the hypnotherapist that I used to see because he was very good, but I don't know if I would feel comfortable talking to him about these fears, sometimes I find it a bit embarrassing and hard to talk about face to face, which is the reason I haven't talked to my mum about it yet.

I admit that I would like a quick fix (or solution) to these thoughts and fears, but I also am aware that it just isn't possible. I thank you for your advice, Mary 🙂

I will admit that even with these things going on the last few days, today especially, I have been a lot better than in the past. I slowed my breathing and heart rate, calmed myself down and stopped crying, 'told off' the thoughts and then got on with my day for the most part. So I'm a little proud 🙂 I've also been a little upset today because it is my boyfriend's birthday and some of the presents I bought for him have not arrived, so I only have one little present to give him for his birthday 😞 Downsides of online shopping!

Hope everyone else is doing well. Looking forward to reading some replies, this forum has helped me a lot, very glad to have joined 🙂

[White_Rose]

Hello Bec

You sound a little more positive in your post which is great. This will take time and I know how uncomfortable it is for you. It's a bit of a balancing act, not looking too far forward in your life because your goal can seem out of reach, but not focussing on the immediate present as it makes you feel not much is happening.

Being able to slow your breathing, regain your composure and stop crying is a huge step forward. Try not to 'tell off' your thoughts. Acknowledge they are there and say I have better things to think about, then physically move away and do something active for example wash the dishes, mom will love you for that, go for a walk, pull out a few weeds in the garden. It doesn't need to be hard or last long, just enough to take you away from your intrusive thoughts.

Sometimes not feeling a big connection with your therapist can be helpful. I am presuming you like her and trust her to give you the best therapy. We can get a bit too cosy, have lots of chat and end up depending on our therapists to pick up the pieces. I think you have had only a few sessions with her. If you find this is too uncomfortable then go back to your GP and discuss it with him/her.

It may be the psych feels talking about these fears of yours for the whole session will serve only to reinforce the thoughts. Talking about ways and means to help you is a more positive approach. Having said that I realise I am not in the room with you and I don't know what the psych is doing. Do you think you can tell her this? Print out the above post and either give it to her or read it to her. At the very least it will allow both of you to talk about what is happening.

Doctors can assume you understand what is happening and don't always realise their patient is struggling to keep up. Asking about it can be very helpful.

Ask the psych about going to a hypnotherapist. It is a recognised medical treatment which can help in many cases. As I said earlier, stay with one form of therapy for a while. Going from one to another will not work well because any type of treatment takes time to implement and settle into your mind and emotions. Your psych may think it's a good idea to do both, no reason why not. Or she may believe it will reduce the efficacy of her treatment. Asking is OK.

The more you talk with the psych the easier it gets and I think in time you will be able to tell mom what is happening. That will be a huge step.

Mary

[kanga_brumby]

The truth be known the Korean conflict never finished. there was only a cease fire armistice agreed to. China will stay out of any war. Because economically they can buy us out then there is nothing to fix just profit going to there government not ours. They win without firing a shot. It's only North Korea and the USA we have to worry about.

Kanga