"I'm not doing so well "

[Tryingtofindmyplace]

Hi everybody,

So this is my first time posting and I'm looking for some advice for myself about how to manage my depression and how to lessen it's effects on my romantic and work life. I also want some advice on how to help my boyfriend "deal with me".

I understand my boyfriends frustration when I tell him "I'm not doing so well". I've struggled with depression from my early teenage years and it has lead me down paths I don't care to admit to. But he's only dealt with the bad parts over the past few months. My medication isn't working and I no longer have access to my psychologist. And to be honest I'm scared of myself, what I might do, or go back to, in a spur of wanting to get rid of the pain I'm in and stop being a burden to others.

I guess I'm looking for help that I can't find anywhere else, and I guess to just tell my story.

I force myself to do gym everyday, I eat very well (especially for a 21year old), I have no hobbies or passions for anything, I never had a chance to. I'm looking for outside the box advice, because believe me when I say, I've tried everything..

[Jugglin_Strugglin]

Hi

Im new too, and pretty lateral, tho more than twice your age! I am finding chatting on this forum & telling my story is some help to me.

Wow, you're doing really well going to the gym and eating well. I hope you keep this up, just make fitness a part of your daily routine/life. It is THE BEST THING you can do for yourself. You will thank yourself in 30 yrs time. What an achievement. If I could be 20 again, I would worship my body like a temple. It is proven that exercise improves mental wellbeing, so go girl!

Have you spoken to your gp about the meds? Perhaps you need to change or need something else. It might be the easiest fix. Life is rarely that easy?

Does your boyfriend have any knowledge or experience of depression? It is certainly hard on loved ones, I'd almost say impossible if they don't truly understand. There are links on this site & others that may help him to be able to support you. There is also a forum here for loved ones/carers to get advice, or vent when necessary. I have read posts there, it is pretty scary. Hopefully he will be supportive. It is a BIG ask, and I only wish I had someone who cared for me enough to want to help or even understand what I am coping with.

I have realised that men really are from Mars, & don't seem to get into the deep & meaningful stuff as much as women do. I am constantly surprised on this forum to find so many men that do understand & share their feelings, but perhaps that is because they are or have had their own mental health struggles. They are not the norm!! So try not to expect too much from him. Honestly, you are lucky to have each other. Rather than 'deal with you' I hope he can really be there for you, but you must also give back. DONT sweat the little stuff.

You must find something to do that you enjoy. That makes you happy. Why don't you have the chance NOW to try new things, to find a hobby or passion? Perhaps it could be something new that you and your BF could share together. Or not.

Life is a drudge if you don't have something to look forward to. Otherwise it is just work,sleep,eat. You must have something enjoyable to look forward to, whether it is everyday or only once or twice a year. I think it helps depression to have goals. It gives your mind something positive to focus on, instead of just dwelling.

Ultimately, you are the only one that can make yourself happy, BF can only be a part of that. Sadly, depression may always be a hurdle, but hurdles are made to jump.

Aim high x

[PatT]

Hi there,

Much like the previous poster said I think speaking to your GP about your meds could be a good idea. Sometimes medication simply stops working for a number of reasons and you need to taper off and start on a new one. Apart from that it seems like you're doing everything within your power to manage your depression so kudos. It's not an easy thing to do.