Please help

[Guest_60121912]

Please help. My son recently attempted to take his own life (I know that's not the right terminology and for that I'm sorry). It was just days ago. His pain isn't something that will change. He's grieving the loss of his step father, his girlfriend and him are having issues, his dad and his relationship is strained. I can't change these things and his pain became unbearable. He has done every kind of talk therapy for 5 years about these things and he can't talk about them any more. He says that talking about things makes it worse, they can't be fixed but the pain is clearly crushing him. I have taken leave at work so I can be with him but this is a temporary thing. I can't follow him around forever and just keeping him alive while he's being crushed by pain isn't the answer. Where do we go from here? We've talked to doctors who say more counselling but how if that makes him feel worse?? 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

It is a difficult topic and I'm endeared to your efforts.

Ok, so the many years I've been here as a peer advisor (been there done that in terms of attempt and psychotic episodes)  so we are lived experienced members us champions. The best advice I can give is the following-

• Suggest to him if he is at a low point, to contact lifeline 131114 or Beyondblue 1300 224636. If he is registered with mental health authorities he will have a 24 hour number he can ring and they will have his case details on a computer in front of them and can get help immediately.
• Enter a GP surgery anywhere and ask for help. I'm 68yo but last year I did exactly that. It isnt easy to think logically when full of emotion but pass onto him that it is the best thing I ever did, to get a nurse to hold my hand for 90 minutes until emotion began to subside.
• Seek out 10 free visits to a counsellor/psych etc now you do have choices, if he doesnt think a psych will help he might get a counsellor or someone young that is more appropriate for him. If comfort is an issue he should keep trying because there will be someone he will click with and he'll enjoy the mentoring
• Boost him up. Every second day remind him how proud you are of him making inroads and "well you seem a lot better than yesterday, see how you come good". This is a big issue for him to realise during a bad low point to remember the next day things are usually better
• As a male I feel sorry for him about hi dad. He needs a male mentor. Maybe check with council for groups whereby he can get the older male influence. The mens shed if he likes tinkering, an apprenticeship? and so on. A direction in life will distract him.
• Encourage social activities for his age group, sports, hobbies. When I did model airplanes my mind was so immersed I forgot about my issues. 

A few threads for you to read, just read the first post.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/depression-distraction-and-variety/td-p/275790

Also use search for topics on low self esteem. 

TonyWK