Opions on what i feel

[LonleyAngel]

Hi all, its been around a year scince i last posted and i was just woandering if i caould get saome feedback and your thoughs on how i am at the moment.

For context, i have just started year 10 and am truning 15.

In the past six months or so i've been confused, i think about my identity, sometimes i wish the ones i love would lose their lives wether thats througha n acident just however it can, I'm not really sure if this is why , but i think i want this because i want to understand myself better but also give me an excuse to get out of going to school.I also sometime want bad things to happen to myself for what i think is the same reason as above but also because i think i want to understand others experiences because a lot of if not all of my friennds have suffered with mental helath or family issiues, but i havendt.. to be honest i'm not entierly sure about much, most of the time i'll think about stuff like this or about my mental state and then compelety forget 5 mintues later an d not botherd, I'm stuck and i don't know how to descibe how i feel .  

Also on a side note i often wish i was in another world, one like the manga and anime i watch and read, i'll often listen to music and imagine i'm someone else in another world, and my charecter has always been through a ton of tramua. I'm also kind of wish i was imortal and unageing so i wound't have to die or age that much. i hope this all makes sense to someone.

[Sophie_M]

Hi LonleyAngel, 
 

Welcome back to the forums. We’re sorry to hear how lost you feel, please know it's very normal to have confusion around your identity in your youth. It sounds like you are feeling a bit anxious and may be expereincing intrusive thoughts. Reach Out have some great articles around communication that you might find helpful in navigating your situation: 

• https://au.reachout.com/relationships/communication-skills 
  
   

Always know you can give us a call on the Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636 to talk things through with the lovely counsellors there. A few more options are KidsHelpline on 1800 55 1800, Lifeline on 13 11 44, and Headspace on 1800 650 890. All of these options are also available through webchat, if you'd prefer:  

• Beyond Blue  
• Kids Helpline  
• Lifeline  

• Headspace (9am-1am AEST)  

  We hope to hear from you there and glad you’ve taken the steps to share here in a safe and supportive place. 
  Kind regards, 
  Sophie M 

[sbella02]

Lonley Angel,

Thank you for reaching out, I appreciate the courage it's taken for you to open up here. Welcome to the forums, and I'm sorry to hear about your recent struggles.

Sophie_M has provided some amazing resources that I can vouch for. Headspace and Kids Helpline in particular are great for school-aged people who are struggling.

School is tough. I was also about your age when I began to experience mental health hardships, and I didn't really like school for many reasons, mainly all social. School can stifle your identity. It can hinder your ability to blossom and explore aspects of your identity, like hobbies, interests, passions. 

I can relate to your point about turning to things like music and anime. If we're experiencing something difficult, it can be therapeutic to turn to something imaginary, something that explains or verbalises what we're going through, or something that's entirely isolated from our personal lives to offer us support and relief. This is why music can give us a lot of relief, or why we find that we connect with certain characters or scenarios. This is normal, and it reflects the experience of many young people.

Do you write much? I've always been into writing, and I often turn to it as a means of calming myself down or expressing something that I'm feeling. Whether it's something fictional or fantastical, or whether we're writing from experience, writing is a useful tool to help us express difficult feelings.

I wish you all the best, and encourage you to keep chatting with us. We'd love to hear more from you.

Take care, SB