One of my friends is really reckless and it’s upsetting to me

[icecreamspider]

I have a friend who likes to be reckless. They deal with a lot of mental health issues so on group chats they often say and describe doing things that are really dangerous including violent ways of harming themselves. It ranges from out of nowhere ideas like buying a tattoo gun to contemplating suicide and it’s really really uncomfortable. Recently they made an extremely reckless move, they’re 16 and at 3am they messaged our gc letting us know that they were meeting an online friend who they’ve never met previously, and then didn’t reply for over an hour and a half. They said i was overreacting when i got upset at them. I’ve talked to them since then about it and they’ve stopped saying stuff that makes me uncomfortable, but also seemed annoyed at having to do so. I feel bad because i think it’s a coping mechanism. Despite them stopping though i’m still uncomfortable. i haven’t been able to talk about it anywhere so this is just me venting i guess.

[white knight]

Hi again,

I mentioned in your other post about taking control of your life. In this instance you might need to evaluate your selection of friends as this person isnt good for you... so why have them as friends? Do you have a need to have all people as friends? It is the norm that people select their friends wisely and stay away from troublemakers or environments that are dangerous.

"I’ve talked to them since then about it and they’ve stopped saying stuff that makes me uncomfortable, but also seemed annoyed at having to do so. I feel bad because i think it’s a coping mechanism." well setting boundaries is acceptable, your boundaries, no one elses. You sound like you have what I used to have and that's guilt. Guilt isnt healthy.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/guilt-the-tormentor/td-p/321604

TonyWK

[SBEL]

Hey there, that must be incredibly tough on you! It sounds like you may need to put some strict boundaries in place again. If you have already spoken to them about this and they don't respect your wishes or just find it annoying that you asked, It's always ok to step away from a friendship and take some time for yourself while you process if this friend benefits you or not. Perhaps you can be there for them but spend less time with them in order to look after your own mental health. Perhaps some space will put your friendship into perspective! I do hope this situation improves for you soon! 🙏