Not good enough to get support?

[Jess0425]

Hey guys, I'm new on here and don't really know what I'm doing, so I'll just get straight into it. I've had signs of anxiety since preschool age. Over the past couple months, it's gotten really bad again. To the point where I've had really bad nausea, dizziness, muscle twitching, difficulty breathing, etc. This time, I think I might need to see someone about it, but I don't feel valid enough. I feel like maybe my situation isn't serious enough; or other people have it so much worse, so I don't deserve to get help. I'm 15, so often I feel like I'm not old enough to have any valid problems. I know that's not true, but I've heard it from family members and other people, so sometimes it seems true. My mum is really supportive, but there's a lot of things she doesn't understand. She talks about "exposure therapy" (making me get a job and forcing me into triggering situations). But she only says that because she thinks that's what will help. I know she'd be happy to help me get support from a psychiatrist or someone, but I'm scared the rest of my family won't accept it. Especially 2 of my siblings, who have constantly made fun of me whenever I've said something as simple as "I'm having a bad day," because they don't believe that I could have any problems, being only 15. In my family, my mum is the only person I've talked to about having anxiety. The rest of my family have no idea. I just really don't know where to go from here.

[Zeal]

Hi Jess,

Welcome to the forum!

You are definitely deserving of help! There will always be someone who has a more severe condition or has more problems, but that does not mean that you shouldn't get help 🙂 I first got help from a psychiatrist at 13, when I was diagnosed with OCD (an anxiety disorder). I am now 22 and still live with OCD, but it is mild and doesn't negatively impact my life. I did Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) with a psychologist, and I have been taking SSRI medication for my serotonin deficiency for several years. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter in the body that helps control mood, sleep, digestion and other functions.  

The symptoms you have listed would definitely have a negative impact on your life, which is why seeing a professional is essential. Going to your GP first is a good idea. They can refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist.

If your siblings are younger, it is likely they are not mature enough to realise what is going on with you. It's hard for others to understand anxiety if they have never personally experienced it. I'm glad your Mum is aware of your anxiety and is supportive. She can take you to your GP. Once you get diagnosed, you or your Mum (or both of you) could explain to your family what anxiety is and how it affects you. This could be at the dinner table on a weekend when everyone is hopefully together and relaxed. If your siblings don't accept this and still act immaturely, it's best to ignore teasing and realise that their acceptance may take time.

I hope you can get help for your anxiety soon. If you would like to talk more about this, don't hesitate to post here again 🙂

Best wishes,

SM

[Perfectly Scattered]

You are worthy. 

I can relate to that feeling that others need help more, that your issues are not serious enough yet to seek help. My best advice would be - Don't wait until your issues are so big that you feel you have lost control, getting help early is the best way to secure your future happiness. 

Your mum sounds wonderful. Her support will be such a comfort to you and she will probably be able to help your siblings understand.

You have taken a big step by writing down your feelings. Get your mum to take you to the GP for a referral to a Psychologist. Seeing a Psychologist can help you to understand Anxiety and give you coping stratergies. 

Good luck x

[Jess0425]

Thank you 🙂 The symptoms (especially the physical ones) definitely aren't much fun. Sometimes I find I can't leave the house, or see anyone other than family when it starts to get bad.

I've talked to my mum about seeing my gp. She's supportive, but also really concerned because she doesn't want me going on medication. And she's also freaking out a little bit at the thought of her kid needing help, but that's just because she doesn't fully understand; but she tries to, which I'm thankful for.

My siblings are older, but because I have a pretty good life in general, and no really traumatic experiences (thankfully) they assume that I must be perfectly fine and I have nothing to complain about. So to them, the idea of me having therapy, or even mental illness, is completely out of the question. But I suppose I should give them more of a chance, and see how it goes. 🙂

[Perfectly Scattered]

Hi Jess,

​I understand how your mum is feeling. Mum's want to be able to fix everything for the people we love. It is hard for us to hand our kids over to someone else for help. My son has OCD and it was so bad this year that he ended up on medication. Your mum will find comfort from having someone helping you who really understands the issues you face each day- it just takes time. I would be lost without my son's Psychologist- she is not at all judgemental- her job is to support us. You may be not need medication- sometimes it helps to just talk about things and get some breathing/relaxation techniques that help bring Anxiety symptoms down. 

Hugs to you and your mum xo

[Jess0425]

Thank you, (Perfectly Scattered) both for this post and your last 🙂 My mum really is amazing, but she's really scared of finding a psychiatrist who is more harmful, rather then helpful. Her experiences with physiatrists in the past haven't been very comforting, as they were all not very good. At the moment I'm trying to work out ways to deal with things with her, but of course she doesn't fully understand, which makes it hard. I'm sure that will come in time though.

It's great that your and your son have found someone who can help! 🙂 All the best to him, and to you.