Newbie! Anxiety and relationship issues. Needs to change

Orion1995 · ‎08-07-2017

Hello everyone!

Orion1995 is the name and I'm here to improve my mental well being.

Im 22 and recently finished my apprenticeship. I'm planning on moving to a bigger city to study engineering.

Over the last two years or so I have found myself becoming more anxious about every aspect of my life. I have reached the point where I believe I may be having anxiety attacks. At the same time I have met someone special and it's affecting my relationship with her. I can be a very codependent person and I tend to get horrible ideas floating around in my head that things will end because of xyz. I also tend to get very involved early on in a relationship.

It's all really taking a toll on me emotionally and I want to get some help to learn how to manage it all. I know very little about mental health and even less about these forums so if anyone has any advice on what I should do and where I should go to effectively utilise this forum I would really appreciate it.

Thanks everyone in advance. Any advice is greatly appreciated 🙂

Starwolf · ‎08-07-2017

Hi Orion, welcome to the forums.

Well done for acknowledging there is a problem and for your willingness to learn how to manage it. It shows you have courage and determination, terrific assets to have on your side. Congratulations also on finishing your apprenticeship. It is a major achievement and the pressure involved may have contributed to stressing you out.

You are right, anxiety can eventually infiltrate every area of life and spread toxicity into relationships.

I'd suggest you do the K10 test (found in the Facts section, top left of this page). Though it doesn't replace professional diagnosis, it will give you a better idea of what you are up against. You will also find general info about anxiety in that section.

Booking a long GP appointment would be a wise next step. Mental conditions are medical conditions. They should be regarded and treated as such. You will be pointed in the right direction. Please be open about your co-dependency problem. You may need to be referred to a counselor or therapist to help you get to the bottom of it. Struggling alone is too difficult. It is also unnecessary. With the right help and support, things can and will get better. You deserve to reclaim peace of mind and quality of life.

Your partner would be given the opportunity to go along to one of your sessions. She would then learn about the cause of your behaviour and state of mind (which may at times seem bewildering to her) and how best to support you.

As complement, I'd suggest you research coping strategies to calm down the restless, over-reactive mind such as mindfulness, relaxed breathing and body scan etc...(Smiling Mind is a helpful app).

Meanwhile, navigating these forums will reassure you that you are not alone. Unfortunately, anxiety is a lot more widespread than suspected. Feel free to continue to post as much and as often as you wish. Rest assured you will be heard and understood.

Good to have you on board.

Guest_9809 · ‎08-07-2017

Hi Orion1995, and welcome to the BB Forums. Good on you for recognising a possible problem and being proactive in seeking ways to resolve any problems.

Congratulations on completing your apprenticeship, and for your desire to further your career by studying engineering.

Anxiety is one of the most common MH problems experienced by humans. So you definitely are not alone in that regard. I have PTSD, which means I experience high levels of anxiety. So I know how debilitating it is when at its worst. Panic attacks are not at all pleasant. Good on you for wanting to nip this in the bud before it adversely affects your life, career and relationships.

There are many ways to help overcome and manage anxiety. Would you be comfortable in going to see your GP and discussing your current difficulties? That should be your first step in taking appropriate action in getting over this. Your GP may suggest a number of options - medication, psychotherapy and self help methods among them. Which route you take will depend on your eventual diagnosis and your own personal preferences as to treatment. A referral to a psychologist could be helpful to you, as it has been for me. They help you identify what causes anxiety and teach you coping methods to help manage it.

I would suggest you have a look at "The Facts" drop down option across the top of this screen. There, you will find helpful information from BeyondBlue. Part of beating anxiety is understanding it, so have a good read of the relevent sections there.

You may also be interested in take the Anxiety and depression checklist which is also contained there. Its called a K10 test, and is useful in determining whether you are stressed, anxious, depressed, and the degree you are affected. It is a good starting point, and can be used as an opening talking point when you go along to see your GP.

As for the Forums - you will find people here are very helpful, understanding and supportive. All of us here have experience with MH and wish to help others where ever possible.

Have a look at some of the Anxiety threads on the Forums, which can be found here:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety

And also there are a number of wellness type threads on the Staying Well forums which you will find useful:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well

Please feel free to reply to any existing thread which interests you. I hope to see you around.

Taurus

Guest_9809 · ‎08-07-2017

Hi Orion. My apologies if my post above comes across as somewhat repetitive to that of Starwolf's. When I commenced my post to you, there were no other replies. So it appears that Starwolf and I were posting simultaneously. I suppose if there is a positive to that, at least we were consistent in our advice?

Anyway, we hope to hear back from you when you're ready. I hope you are having a good weekend so far.

Taurus

Orion1995 · ‎09-07-2017

Starwolf and Taurus4826thank you for taking the time to reply. Taurus4826 don't worry about the similarities between yours and Starwolf's posts. I totally understand 🙂

The next steps I am going to take are taking the k10 test and opening a dialogue with my gp about my possible condition.

I will also definately do some research on anxiety itself and mechanisms I can use when I begin to feel anxious.

It does make me feel a little better already hearing from you both. Thank you again for taking the time to help me figure out a plan of action 🙂

geoff · ‎09-07-2017

hello Orion, great replies from Starwolf and Taurus so I don't have to add on the same information.
Anxiety and depression normally go hand in hand, in other words, if you have one of these then the other is right behind it, that's what I and always will, so the K-10 test will give you a score between 1 to 10, where 10 means that you do have depression, which does indicate the two are joined together.
It can be quite scary moving to a bigger city, finding somewhere to live, meeting new people and trying to adjust to the new surroundings can be frightening and certainly make you anxious.
The thoughts you maybe having could be 'intrusive thoughts' which come with being anxious, so perhaps you could google this and read all the comments or as much as you want, because it's a large post count.
As the others have said book in to see your doctor, and please keep in touch with us. Geoff.

Orion1995 · ‎09-07-2017

Thank you Geoff

Tthought of moving to a bigger city and all that comes with that plus what I may have to leave behind is definitely a large contributing factor to my worries.

I will definitely read more about intrusive thoughts and keep in touch.

Thank you for your time 🙂

Animals_Rock · ‎20-07-2017

Hi there, that is a completely normal feeling to experience Orion1995. Those feelings I experience also about the future as it's all unknown. I try to just focus on the presence as I can't control the future.