New to this: issues with bipolar and general well being. is someone able to empathize or understand?

[KazzW]

Completely new, so i'll just jump right in i guess. I am known to all as Kazz. 24 years old, and i was diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder 18 months ago.

While the initial diagnose was a shock and difficult to wrap my head around, i believe i have accepted it to the best of my ability. 

However, i feel a little lost right now.

I lost my job due to this... problem, and i'm trying to fix it. Doctor and psychiatrist have been very supportive and effective in making  treatment and recovery plan for me so i am able to return to some sense of normality.

But i am currently experiencing severe anxiety issues and a current depressive phase. Even as i try my hardest, i feel the most important people in my life dont understand that it is a struggle, and my mother in particular, doesn't seem to want to understand. She thinks that because i am now on medications i should just be able to go back to work, or study, preferably both. I dont know how to explain why this is a struggle, and every time i have tried, the comments are the same "people have to get over their issues and do what they need to do. grow up and get a job"

How can anyone understand that its a struggle for me to even leave my bedroom when i feel like this? Little everyday tasks that everyone is capable of doing, i cant seem to find the energy for. Unless i'm manic or hypo-manic, i am seen as 'lazy' or 'immature'

I almost crave the moments when i am hypo-manic. at least then i can manage to do something with my life. 

Is there a solution to this? because i just dont see it.

Am i going to feel like this for the rest of my life, even if the medications are working (which they seem to be since i have started the new medication which consist of mood stabilizer, anti depressant and quick release medication as a PRN for 'rescue' when needed.

I feel better, sort of, but everyone keeps saying i need to be better, how can i get better quicker so i stop letting my family down?

And if this message comes off as whiny, i apologize. i do. 

Any ideas or advice would be greatly appreciated.

With love to all who have these issue or many more who are trying to support someone who isn't well.

[Narniakid]

Hi KazzW, welcome to he forums and thank you for sharing.

It's great to hear you're on medication and seeking professional help. Unfortunately there's no real way to "speed up" recovery of any mental illness, including bipolar, it has to happen naturally and comfortable and for YOU, not anyone around you. It's a shame that the people around you are pressuring you, and I assume it is because they don't understand. Perhaps next time you see your doctor, bring along your mother so she's able to get a better understanding of what you're going through. My partner has suffered from bipolar for most of his life, so I know how hard it is to understand initially, for both that person and the people around them.

Have a read of the resources here on the website and perhaps mention this pressure to your GP, and see what they say. I wish you all the best and keep us posted. Remember that your mental illness does not define you.

Crystal