Need some advice

[Stahly]

Hey guys, i am 19yrs old and need some advice with anxiety/depression. I was diagnosed with anxiety/depression about 3 years ago. Im on antidepressant and taking regular counselling sessions. Although both of those take the edge off, i have trouble when i am at work. I find my self being really anxious, afraid and shaky. I recently quit ny job as i wasn't getting treated good and my anxiety was really going through the roof. I have found that when this happened i would drink more alcohol then i usually would so i could just escape from everything (i know its not the right thing to do). This has been the case with my past two jobs and now im about to start my new job. Im really worried about the same thing happening again and i don't want to have a new job every 6 months. Im not sure what to do and i would like some advice to help with this issue.

[BenD]

Hey stahly,

Good on you for making an effort to look after yourself. Despite your concerns about starting your new job and stuff, it sounds like you have come a long way as it is. So well done.

As for the new work, whenever I was going through a really anxious phase and applying for a job I would always try to imagine myself in the best way I could possibly be. Its only fair that if we spend a lot of the day beating ourselves up (via depression/anxiety) that we spend an equal amount of time promoting ourselves and empowering ourselves. Its not being overly optimistic, its merely being fair.

It sounds like the balance could be a bit skewed in the negative direction for you at the moment, perhaps it might be good to remember a few qualities about yourself that you are proud of?

Give it a go and let me know how you feel after 🙂

Ben

[Neil_1]

Hi there Stahly

Welcome to Beyond Blue and may I say, well done for coming here and providing your post.

Anti-depressants – regular counselling sessions – bloody awesome and that’s great to hear that it is helping to take the edge of your symptoms.

Now while we can experience problems at work, this is never a good situation especially when you’re not being treated well.   Having to go to a workplace like that is definitely something that can raise the anxiety levels, and as you suffer from that already, it only unfortunately helps to increase it and at the same time, cause you to plummet down.

Can I say though Stahly, good on you for being able to snare ‘another’ job.   That says to me volumes about you – that you’ve got the up ‘n go facility within you to be able to get out there and obtain another job – I say this because in today’s employment climate, obtaining jobs can be a difficult thing, so you should feel damn proud of yourself for being able to score a new job.

Ok, so you have won yourself a new job.  Now you don’t need to answer this, but just think, how did you win this job?   I’m assuming it was via an interview process and that you were confident enough to portray someone who is intelligent, knowledgeable, well-mannered, confident and being able to express themselves in a professional manner – and this is all from someone who is 19yo.  Mega kudos to you Stahly.   Now you say you’re not sure what to do with this current job – if you hid your anxiety and depression during the interview, then try doing that when you commence at work.   A little like what Ben suggested – be positive as much as you can be, feel empowered and be the best you can possibly be.

I hope between myself and Ben, we’ve managed to help out a little bit.

But would really like to hear back from you on this.

Kind regards

Neil

[Lori]

Hi Stahly,

I'm sorry to hear that you have been battling these two horrible illnesses for so long but you are definitely heading in the right direction to getting yourself better! Seeking help can be quite scary and daunting and you have gone beyond that which is great your attending counselling sessions you are taking anti-depressants and that is brilliant to here well-done! 

You are right you cant keep changing jobs every 6 months it probably not the healthiest thing for you and wont help your anxiety. I myself was the same i use to go to work and my anxiety would go through the roof and i felt like passing out but what i found that helps me get through tough and daunting times like that are relaxation strategies i have my own relaxation strategies that i do to keep calm and push through the hard times.

I would suggest that you maybe ask the health professional that you see for some coping/relaxation strategies to help you get through work, There are so many different types you can do and some of them you can do in public without people noticing so you could practice them at work, also i would suggest exercise it always helps with anxiety even just a 30 minute walk each day can help reduce your anxiety.

See how you go, good luck and well done for reaching out.  Stay strong!

-Lori 

[Narniakid]

Hi Stahly!

I am sorry to hear of your troubles, however I applaud you on coming here to get some help.

What exactly is it about working that triggers your anxiety? You've said that you've had this problem in your last two jobs - were they in the same occupation area? Personally, I work in retail, and if it weren't for my managers being so considerate and willing to negotiate with my condition, I wouldn't have been able to work efficiently.

I work casually, so when I'm having a good period, I'll call up and request more shifts, and if I'm going through a rough patch, I can call up and cancel. Financially, it's not ideal, however it is much better for my mental health, as I'm sure you know how unpredictable anxiety can be. 

When applying for jobs, I probably wouldn't mention your anxiety - once you get the job, and you've battled through the first couple of shifts and proved yourself, have a sit down with your bosses and let them know how you're feeling. More often than not, if you are willing to do alternative tasks eg stacking shelves rather than customer service, they are willing to negotiate. Of course, a doctors certificate or note will help you a lot. 

Good luck and don't let your anxiety hold you back! You can do this!

Crystal

[PatT]

Hey Stahly,

I'm just starting a new job at the moment myself. I haven't worked for about 9 months since a quick stint in rehab and it was absolutely terrifying. I was constantly pulling myself up on the days preceding it - should I say this? How will I make conversation? How can I make them like me? What will make me look good?

Driving over I decided to do one thing - do nothing at all. For me this entailed taking about 10 minutes before I actually went into the building, sitting with myself and practicing some self talk. I told myself that I was just going to be myself, act as normally as possible, not try to either overdo it or undersell myself and just take it as it comes. 

I've often found that when starting a new job it's that first impression that I make is the most important to myself. Not to anyone else. It helps me feel at ease the next time I go back. But at the same time most people are nervous starting a new job and don't really act like themselves until they get settled. And the thing is - nobody else there cares. I've had jobs where people didn't really start speaking to me for months but then we got on just fine.

Try and figure out what is making you anxious about work. Is it the new people, is it new responsibilities, is it an unfamiliar environment? Figure these out and bring them to your counsellor. Between the two of you I'd say you've got a decent chance at working on them.

Also, on the drinking aspect. Alcohol is great at reducing anxiety - that's why most alcoholics become alcoholics. I went down the same path, except with painkillers. Trust me, the more you use substances to try and manage mental illness, the harder it becomes to deal with it without them. Sober life quickly becomes much more difficult and it's not hard to spiral out of control. Try and reel it back in while you can because once you get started it's bloody hard to stop.

All the best,

Pat.

[morgs29]

Hi Stahly,

Thanks for reaching out to us here on the forum! I'm sorry to hear your depression and anxiety is affecting you so much at the moment. I think it's great that you have already looked for help and are seeing a counsellor, as well as the antidepressants. It sounds like these things are helping you.

I remember when I was first diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 15 years old. Before I had learnt how to manage this, I would go out every weekend and drink a lot. I would also have a hard time at work, because my mind and body were so out of whack.

Once I began looking after myself better, and knowing what triggered me (like lack of sleep, bad diet, alcohol etc), I felt like I became more balanced and was in a better state of mind to deal with my mental health.

Ask yourself what exactly triggers your anxiety when you're at work and perhaps explore this further with your counsellor. Could part of it be the expectations you place on yourself?

Look here on the BeyondBlue page for info on depression and anxiety and start to think about what things help you manage it best. Meditation? Walking? Deep breathing? Only you will know what works for you.

Take care and best of luck,

[smoothdog]

Hey Stahly,

Firstly welcome to BB! Thanks for the sharing with us and I hope you get the answer you seek.

I have to congratulate you on your level of self-awareness and initiative when it comes to your mental health. The regular counselling sessions, quitting an inhospitable work environment, actively seeking out a better job, acknowledgement of the dangers of alcohol as a coping mechanism, posting here on BB - these are all signs of someone who is working towards a healthier life. Good job mate 🙂 The previous posters have already made some excellent suggestions as to how you could possibly circumvent some of this work anxiety, such as psychologically prepping yourself before work (research shows that doing the Superman power pose in the mirror for a few minutes before any potentially stressful event can have amazing benefits!) as well as relaxation and meditation techniques. I do have a couple questions which I would like to ask (which I think would be good to reflect upon and discuss with your counsellor or local GP):

- What is it about work that makes you anxious?

- Is it just at work where you feel this anxiety?

- Were all your previous jobs inhospitable?

- Why did you quit your previous jobs?

It makes complete sense that you don't want this cycle of starting and quitting jobs to continue. By understanding and addressing the root of your anxiety, I believe you can break this cycle and work can become a much more enjoyable experience (alright maybe not necessarily enjoyable, it is work after all :P) 

Good luck Stahly and please let us know how you go!

[Sandyrah]

Hi there! Whenever you start to feel down on yourself, remember how far you have come. Having the ability to get a job very soon after leaving or losing one is a great trait to have and it shows as a testament to your capabilities. Don't be so hard on yourself. Keep up with the medication regime, see a counsellor/psychologist regularly if that is what you are doing, and make sure you surround yourself with positive people that bring out the best in you. 

Everyone doubts themselves even at the best of times, but remember we are only human, we all make mistakes, we are allowed to feel our feelings. Just try to slowly change your thought patterns. For example, when a negative thought comes into your mind when you are at work like "I cannot do this job properly, I am not going to excel in this role" try to rephrase the thought in your mind to a positive one like "I just got this job, obviously I was good enough to be chosen for this role out of many people who applied, so the employer must see something good/lots of potential in me". By changing your thoughts to more positive ones, it will eventually lead to more positive emotions, thus making you feel better and more confident about your capabilities overall.

[SeanM92]

Hello there,

Welcome to the forums, we are all here to help you.

It sucks to hear that you have been suffering for so long but at least you have a system in place between your anti depressants and therapist that works for you, Well done. 

My first thing i want to point it is could it be just maybe your feeling anxious because of how you where treated at work, you said you weren't being treated very well, and in someone suffering with anxiety and depression, it doesn't take much to instill that fear into us. I think maybe your fear of having a new job every few months is really a fear of being treated poorly to the point that you need a new job every few months, would that maybe be whats happening? It is a normal reaction to misplace our fears to something that Might be the issue and something that Is the issue.

Either way, you managed to get another job which means they must like you and think your perfect, keep that in mind and try not to relate it back to your old job as this will continue the fear, new job, new start aye?

Keep up the Great work Buddy and remember the forum is here if you need us.