My story. So far

[Officer_Unicorn]

My name is Billie and this is my story so far

Primary school was the best time of my life I had heaps of friends and was really happy then high school hit me like a ton of bricks I moved houses so I moved schools I didn't know anybody and I was too afraid to talk to any one and was on the verge or tears the whole time I spent lunch time alone so I started talking on the phone to my mum so I didn't look insane but she was busy obviously so then I had to pretend I was talking to her 3 weeks in nothing has changed and I pretending to talk to my mum then a group of 5 to 7 boys for my class walk by and my mum rings me while I'm pretending to talk to her they laugh and tell everyone that hit me really hard I didn't leave my bed for a week unless absolutely nessary So my mum transferred me to a homeschool kind of group that basically goes for two days a week it was ok small and the people were nice but since I had moved I lost touch with all my old friends so I start to fall in to the same pattern I wouldnt leave my bed unless absolutely necessary 5 days of the week fast forward one and a half years later my parents are really worried about me and move me to a main stream high school year nine I lasted two months there unable to make friends so they try putting me back in to the two day a week homeschool but I just felt too alienated and disconnected from the other kids after leaving for two months I couldn't do it so we make a decision that if I get a job maybe that will build my confidence the only problem is I'm not old enough yet so now I'm 100% homeschooled doing nothing waiting until I turn 14 and 9 months but then we realise nobody wants to hire a 14 year old so we wait until I'm 15 and now here I am 15 and 9 days old but I've barley left my room for almost 5 months and I hate myself now you might be thinking 5 months why haven't her parents noticed well my dad is rearly home constantly working and my mum is too busy with my autistic brother trying to cure him and I'm here sitting in my bed and i feel so alone I've tried reaching out online but it's all very temporary and I don't know what to do so I'm sitting here in my bed asking for help because I don't know what to do.

[geoff]

dear Billie, nice to have you join the forum, and what you have said to us is sad, but never the less is well written and very explanatory.

I'm no psychologist, however it could be that you have social anxiety by what has happened with you, and I could well and truly understand why this has happened, and because your mum has to look after your brother who is autistic, would mean that her time would be involved with him, but this doesn't mean that she doesn't love you, because her time would be constantly looking after him, and not realising that she has you as well.

How many siblings do you have, and is this brother younger or older than you.

OK lets try and get you to understand what you are coping with, so if possible google this 'overcoming social anxiety and shyness', plus I would like for you to click onto 'Resources' which is at the top of this page and 'Order all the Printed Material' from Beyond Blue, it's all free and won't cost a cent, because it will help you to understand so much about depression, and when I say depression, there are different types of this illness which are curable.

Is there something in life that you always hoped you could do later on in life, eg policeman, fireman, nurse etc because I would like you to go to a site where you can read up on what this career entails and what education is required, you may even do the enrollment or skills needed to begin the course, some may require that that you need to finish year 12, but if so there are ways about how to handle this, and don't let this turn you off.

It would be great to hear back from you. Geoff.

[Officer_Unicorn]

Thanks for replying 

i only have to one brother who is 2 years younger than me

ive tried many things (singing,acting,art,a few sports,ect)but nothing has really taken my interest so far

i know my parents love me and I am very lucky for that but I almost feel like they are ignoring me because there are to many other stressful things going on in life and they don't have time to deal with me or are to busy to talk right now.

[iKONIC15]

Hi Billie,

I guess I can relate to you in a way. Primary school was also the best days for me, moved away, scared to talk to new people same age-ish, feeling disconnected from other kids. You see, I know I'm a weirdo and I guess I'm too weird too care (if that makes sense).

Have you found something that you like so far? Or something that might be interesting? If you have, just  be 100% about it. I know that I'm a K-pop, K-drama, Anime fanatic and I guess after I showed that side, people started accepting me. I guess what I'm trying to say is, find something you truly like and can be really passionate about to the point that other people's opinion don't matter.

If not I suggest just do little things like going for a walk and just observe people (in a non creepy way). I found that kinda helped me connect back to people and life. 

Sorry if this is too long or not helpful. 

Anyways, FIGHTING!!!