Hi,
I am a female 16 year old and in my last year of high school. I have had troubles with my weight for as long as i can remember. As of the 24th of January 2016 i weighed 93.9 kilograms, i am a size 16 and i have a BMI of 37.3. According to the World Health Organisation i am considered obese. I have had my doctor tell me i have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I have appointments with a dietician once a month. The last 6 months have been the biggest impact on my mental and physical health. I did my research and found that i am at a high risk of infertility and type 2 diabetes. Time and time again i have convinced myself "i'm not that big" or "i haven't eaten that much". This self-delusion had only led me further down the path of self-destruction. My mum and my dad have tried everything to snap me out of this vicious cycle prior to the doctors appointments etc. I was extremely stubborn and only thought about the fact that they were hurting my feelings. So, late in 2013, i began to hate myself. I thought i had to be punished for being in the state i was in. So i self-harmed. This caused me to get depressed and very very anxious. I then developed anxiety disorder and cyclothymic disorder. I talked to my best friend and he suggested i address this as soon as possible because it was obvious i was only going to get worse. I did try to commit suicide once, fortunately, it didn't do any damage. It was an extremely dark time for me and i felt like no one could help me. I then decided it would be advisory to see a counsellor. It was solid 9 months of counselling that finally helped me enough to stop hurting myself and stop thinking negatively about myself. The one and a half years after that were a huge rollercoaster of boyfriends, drugs, sex, alcohol and yes, depression and anxiety. In september of 2015 i decided it was time. Time to get my shit together for my own good. I woke up to myself and i accepted the harsh realities about myself. I have only lost 3 kilos but i am very determined to get to my goal weight of 75kgs. It is going to take a while and there will be obstacles and trials but i am praying for a successful year and hopefully, successful years to come.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story, i hope you can take something from this as this is a most important lesson to love yourself and those around you and never underestimate all that is being put in front of you. Take all opportunities, there isn't a second to waste ❤️
