My parents are making me miserable

[Jinxyj]

Hello! I'm new here and desperately need someone to talk to.
I'm 21 and still living with my parents but I want to move out, however, it's hard to find work because of my age, and that I am at university. Anyways, the issue lies with my parents. I had a terrible childhood which resulted in depression, anxiety and PTSD, with my mother, and I thought it would be fine after I moved in with my dad and future stepmother. After therapy, my depression wasnt as bad but I swear it's coming back. My parents are confusing. They often say one thing but then it changes after. I wanted to study something I would enjoy. They were supportive but after a sudden "pricate" discussion, they now think I will regret it because I'm not studying something that would make me more money. I dont care about money except for moving out. I just feel like they dont appreciate my feelings. I'm passionate about writing and will be studying English and creative writing, but according to them, I will never find a job when i told them my degree will let me be a teacher. I just dont know what to do. I cant talk to them because they turn it around so I feel like the bad guy and they are the victim. This also goes with them complaining about money before wasting it on alcohol, my stepmother talking down to me while treating her son (who is my age) like a prince. Commenting that I am too skinny before complaining about me buying food for myself. I cant tell them that the way they talk to me makes me feel down about myself. It's hard because I have no passion for science, maths or anything he enjoys. I just feel like they dont care for my mental health. I hope this makes sense. They basically complain about almost everything I do. That i cant look after myself, that I dont clean properly, that i talk back when i just want to voice my opinion, that I am unladylike. Ugh... i just. I just dont know anymore. I mean, i cant even tell jokes anymore because they cant tell when i am being serious or not. I feel like my step mother has changed my dad and i hate to say it, but i just feel no joy around my father like i used to. Please give advice. I just dont know who to turn to.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Jinxyj

Welcome to bb and thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry that you're having a tough time at present, you certainly have a lot on your plate.

I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with studying English and creative writing and, in addition to teaching, there will be many paths to choose from in future ... publishing, journalism, public relations, copy writing, technical writing, advertising, even public policy. It is possible to make a very good living from writing (I have done so), even though I recognise this is not currently your prime concern.

Don't let anyone take away your dream because it will be you going to work everyday for the next 50 years, not them. You have to enjoy what you do in life and make the best contribution you can.

Your living arrangements sound less than ideal and I'm really sorry that your relationship with your Dad is suffering.

You might want to consider talking with Dad about how you feel and see if he can help bring about change in your home or maybe help you move out, if you think you're ready. I'm sure you could find shared accommodation with other students to help keep costs down. You could also explore government student support services.

Most of all I want to encourage you to safeguard your mental health. You've worked hard to overcome MI in the past and you do not want to fall ill again. I'd like to suggest you visit your GP for a mental health review. I think it's important that you act before depression gets a chance to sink in.

Kind thoughts to you