Hi Nyletac, welcome to the forum, it's great that you have reached out for help here. It is hard to talk when we're in the grip of anxiety or depression, often because we don't want to accept it ourselves and opening up about it would make it 'real', or we're afraid of what the person's reaction might be. But often people react in a very different way to what we fear - they are far more understanding than we expect.
Talking isn't easy, but there are other ways you can open up with your boyfriend. Write him a letter if you find writing easier, or find information about anxiety and ask him to read it. Maybe have a good look around the forum and see if there's a post that resonates with you and show it to him. There are other resources on the BB site too that might help him understand ... and will help you too.
All of this will eventually lead to conversation, and you might still feel uncomfortable about talking, but at least the conversation will start with a shared knowledge, you won't have to explain everything from the beginning.
Please try because the thing is, you might be setting yourself up for big regrets over a lost love if you don't. And that in turn might feed your anxiety and feelings of self-worth.
Finally - are you getting some professional help with the anxiety? You deserve to feel as well as you can and getting good treatment - from your GP, a psych or counsellor - can make a world of difference for you.
I hope you stay with us and join in on the forum. There are many people here who understand and can share their strategies with you.
Best wishes
Kaz
