moving house anxiety.

[rose95]

hello, I'm 20 years old and my mum and I are moving house..and for some reason it has triggered a lot of anxiety for me. I worry and stress and over think everything 😞 the house we are moving to is a lot smaller and older than where we live now and I don't know why, but I can't seem to adjust to it. my boyfriend is amazing but he doesn't really understand anxiety and gets a little frustrated that I'm not as happy and talkative as usual and my mum tells me it's frustrating for her. I don't want to always be upset and worried about everything but I can't help it. so I was just wondering if anyone has experienced this before or has some tips to get through it? anything would be appreciated  

thankyou so much xx

[geoff]

dear Rose, can I answer your question in two words, yes, yes, it unsettled my domain where I had lived for 9 years, the landlord had fixed the ducted heating and put in a new gas stove, so now I have down sized once again.

Once our house was sold after the divorce, I was going to buy a house, but I was still in depression and couldn't cope with all the rigmarole, so I thought I would rent for a few months, and here I am still renting.

So from 8 acres down to a normal house block and then down to a 2 bedroom flat is where I live.

None of these moves I enjoyed at all, because as you feel, anxiety and worry was the main cause and was actually not replying to any posts on this site.

I had to get rid of more furniture because it just didn't fit in, but what I really wanted was much less grass to cut, and this flat had just come onto the market and the Real Estate wanted to look after me, so I took it, however in some way I was pleased, but I had to try and make myself feel this way.

People say 'you should be happy, because there's not much grass to mow', and of course the standard comment 'you will get used to it', which annoys me so much.

You can't really force yourself to like your new surroundings, but there maybe something about the house that you like, eg any view, or closer to the town, even the colour of the walls or the anticipation of being able to paint the walls in a colour you like, but just try and take any little bit so that you can build on. L Geoff. x

[rose95]

thankyou so much geoff, I will try my best to concentrate on the things that I do like and try to let that out weigh the bad things. I really appreciate your reply 

[_NaturalTalent_]

Hey Rose,

How much do you do in your down time? Do you just do the standard tv iphone relax routine?

Or do you like get out and walk go shopping etc?

Do you do anything to actually relax is what I mean?

Do a little research into this: Creative/Expressive Therapy. Its something you can do on your own and theres many different things to choose from..

It would be helpful if you could get your boyfriend and mother to be a little more supportive too as worrying about how its effecting them is not something you should be focusing on right now. Obviously they need some consideration here and there, but your the one who needs a bit of help right now.

When your the type that over thinks all the time, the best thing you can actually do is let it runs its course, fighting it makes it keep coming back as 'unresolved worries'. Your mind is trying to sort through possibilities to choose the most likely answers. Its a horrible process, but honestly if you can take some time out to just listen to some music and think about things once in awhile, you wont get so overwhelmed ALL the time.

You could try writing it out on paper or even a computer, and you don't have to keep it sometimes you just need to let it out, but a journal type setting can be very beneficial to people, especially to look back on and see how much stronger you are.

[etakh]

I'm sorry this reply has reached you late. Moving house is a real bind. I have specific anxiety relating to it. Especially when you are not really sure about where you are going/where you end up. Change can be really difficult. As well as packing up your life. Things don't seem certain anymore. 

Small steps and each day. Re your relationships: sometimes you put 50% in (and the other puts 50% in too); sometimes you put more in (if the other person is in need): sounds like you are/were in a time where you just need to focus mostly on you, i.e. 70%+ on you. You can't really feel bad about that, it's most important to just keep your own head above water. 

 Also, I am on and off meds for anxiety: moving house is typically a time I choose to go back on them. If you're really feeling like you're not coping and it lasts for more than a week or two, I'd see your doctor. 

 Kind regards

K