Losing Friends because of my depression/anxiety

Preenaaa · ‎14-02-2015

I had anxiety attack earlier today while driving and almost ran into another car. I stopped the car but wasn't able to stop crying and breathing heavily, all because I promised a friend I would join him to a concert tonight. It was a christmas gift to me and I feel I have disappointed him so much.. he probably will never talk to me after today and I don't know what to do. This isn't the first time its happened. I've flaked on several people because I don't want anyone to see me and being around people makes me feel really uncomfortable and i just want to hide and cry. Because of this, im pushing away the few friends that I have and I feel terrible. I understand why they wouldn't want to be friends with someone who is so unreliable. I don't know how to deal with this and im scared Im going to be alone for the rest of my life.

geoff · ‎15-02-2015

dear Preenaaa, I'd like to welcome you to the site and thanks for posting your comment.

I understand how you feel as this quite common when people are suffering from depression and anxiety or more so social anxiety, so firstly at the moment it's something which out of your control, and it's not your fault, this illness has control over you.

If your friends can't accept the fact that you suffer from depression they will in turn go away, and this has happened to most of us on this site, and 99% of my friends I don't see any more, but when it does happen we feel lost, left out and totally ignored, but in retrospect they weren't friends only acquaintances.

You feel as though you are pushing them away, maybe or maybe not, but I don't think that you are, because if they were true friends they would be by your side no matter how depressed you feel.

Can I ask you a question whether or nor you are taking any medication as well as seeing a psych, which could be organised through your doctor, where you can get 10 free visits to see a psych.

There is no harm in seeking help, you are no different to us all, we can't just sit and hope that these feelings will go away by themselves, because they won't, but I tend to believe that you are scared of what has happened, which is totally understandable, but please have trust in us, and we will everything possible to help you through this.

I really hope that you get back to us. L Geoff. x

Preenaaa · ‎15-02-2015

Thank you so much Geoff. Your reply was very helpful.

Im just in a stage where Im trying to mend all the friendships that i've let go but its so much harder when the other person doesnt understand. I get its not easy to understand depression and how it works and I dont know how to explain it to them..

Also, i just wish that some of my friends would check up on me and ask to see how Im doing. Because they don't it makes me feel like they honestly don't care or theyre so hurt by me they dont want to talk to me anymore. Its really hard.

Im on antidepressants and have a psychologist appointment next week so hopefully that helps.

Chris_B · ‎17-02-2015

Hi Preenaaa, good to hear you've got some professional help organised, but not so good to hear about what's happening with your friends.

It is possible that they might not know what to say. We've developed an app to help with this, called the Check-In App. It's designed exactly for what you're talking about, as a way for mates to check in on each other.

You can find out more by clicking on the picture below, this will also take you to a section on our youth website that has conversation tips.