Losing a Bestfriend

Idek · ‎16-12-2016

It's started from the beginning of high school. Me and my childhood bestfriend came across another girl and we all became close. But throughout these years, i did sense some tension between our friendships as my 'new' bestfriend and i often found ourselves in situations were it seemed as if we were jealous of one another because of the other getting too close. I know, it really is confusing and maybe i'm overreacting. But lately, I've been pushed aside from both people and they're both becoming extremely close. Like especially when the three of us are together, i'm always left out while they're joking around and they always recall past memories they created when they either slept over each others house or they went out together without me. I don't want to leave these friendships though, as i have no other close friends, so basically i'm left out from every other friend group i have. They're not trying to hurt me i know, but it still hurts. If anyone could provide some advice or tips, thankyou.

Janey123 · ‎16-12-2016

Hey Idek,

I answered your other post and then saw this, so I just wanted to add that this is a really common feeling, although not many would be as brave to admit it to themselves, and to a forum!

Try not to place all your bets on your childhood best friend, because if you do, you are vulnerable. Make more of an effort with other not so close friends, so that when your childhood best friend doesn't have time for you, you have other options. This may take time, so keep working on it 🙂

I guess what I am saying is try and have friends that are just good friends (so not for the purpose of becoming your 'best' friend), I know I would rather have 4-5 good friends, than one bff. Plus, you never know, one of these friends may become a very special friend over time.

Good luck

Janey

SubduedBlues · ‎16-12-2016

Hi Idek

It's not the first time that two good mates have like the same one girl, and I doubt it will be the last. The great thing is that you are recognizing that they are happening. I would suggest that if he really is your best friend, that you feel happy for him being with someone nice. Publicly acknowledging them as a couple, means that you are no longer a threat to their relationship and you can move forward with just being friends again.

SB