Left home, and stuffed up school

[The_VC]

I left home, due to my mother.. and in the end I ended up missing out on one whole term of school, the start of year 12.. I wasn't going to go back.. but now that I have, I'm trying so hard and all Im met with is average C grades, teachers that lecture me till the sun goes down, no friends and this constant nagging voice/feeling that screams and yells at me that I wasted my life my potential.. I just can't even bear to look at my school work, to me each page is stamped in red with failure.. school feels like this constant reminder that I couldve been and done so much better. I need help, I want to do better, I just don't believe I can anymore...

[Ruth_M]

Hi there,

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you've been under enormous stress- completing year 12 can be one of the hardest years at the best of times, let alone with difficulties at home. Well done on getting back to school despite missing a term- this mustn't have been easy- and is a testament to your strength!

It may not seem like it right now, but there are so many options out there, and just because you are not getting the grades you would like, does not mean that you have wasted your life or have failed. There are lots and lots of different pathways into higher education or work these days, so don't despair. 

The stress of school, home issues and the lack of supportive friends can be immense, so do seek out some support to help you through these last two terms. Your school may have a school welfare coordinator, which is often a good place to start. Or, you can call the beyondblue Support Line on 1300 22 46 36. If you prefer to chat online, sign up to our Webchat where you can talk with a beyondblue counsellor about what you are going through, and how to connect with support.

We think you are doing really well, but do let others in to help you get through this. We also hope you stay in touch with us on the forum to let us know how you are going.

With best wishes

beyondblue moderation team

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear The VC,

Your 17 or 18 ?   Yr 12 student ?  Under pressure ?  Accommodation change ?

Has your school got a counselor ?  Is there an approachable teacher ?  Do they even know you moved out from your mother and are trying to cope with the change ?   Actually, Grade C's are OK but you obviously want to do more as you write about your frustrations very clearly.   It's getting too much but I don't think you've wasted your life.  When you're down it's natural to be super self critical and think the worst.

Have you heard of splitting year 12 into 2 years ?   It means you can do some exams this year and finish up (with shorter school hours) in 2014.  It's a system called "Pathways" and my son did it as he had severe depression in yr 12 and his grades fell like yours.    After 2 years he scrambled back and started at uni this year.   The other thing is that, legally, you have 5 years to complete your HSC.  Even this year he's taking a semester off uni due to depression.  So, slowly and surely.   What's the rush ?  You've gotta get better first.

Year 12 is high pressure and leads to some suicides.  By sharing the work over 2 years you can ease up on the self criticism and just cruise.  A good school or counselor will support you all the way and maybe your GP can give some kind of medical certificate to support your unsettled state.  It all helps.

Adios, David.

PS   Staying home watching tv and eating fast food would be wasting your life.   You'll always have potential and choice, even in your darkest hour.   You could be feeling down but some failure is necessary to succeed.  It's what your actions are NOW that determine your direction in life.   Maybe you can replace any lecturing from staff that you want to tune out off by thinking of the lecture as the Spin on a Washing Machine cycle.  Predict the negativity, endure the spinning talk and then move on to the next part of your day.   You can only fail at school if you have crap teachers.  Your eagerness to learn needs motivation not castigation.