Lack of motivation in life, inability to look after myself, clean, eat, wash belongings

[ElderberryHamster]

Hi All!

I am new here and had a search through the forum but could not find what I was looking for, so apologies if I am repeating a topic covered.

 I have been diagnosed with both anxiety and depression previously, and although I am feeling much better now than a few years ago and have a will to live and succeed, I find it difficult to look after myself. 

I live out of home and can keep a job (I'm in my mid twenties) but I just can't get myself organised. I was just wondering if other people found it hard to look after themselves. 

I always try and get all excited and start up a new regime of how I am going to eat well and be productive but it never seems to happen.

I regularly skip meals because I don't have the energy to cook, or the motivation. I go on shopping sprees and buy the food and then just end up throwing it out because it goes bad. I often just et snacks because I don't have to prepare anything. I also smoke heavily so that I stop feeling hungry, because that is easier than feeding myself.

 I can't see the floor of my room or any surfaces. I just don't seem to be able to clean up after myself and then I find my room causes me anxiety and makes me upset. I can only keep the other areas of my house clean because I don't want to annoy my housemate. I don't seem to be able to do it for myself. I avoid having people over because I find my room so embarrassing (the same thing happens in my car and handbag). My room fills up with rubbish and dirty dishes. 

I go on a cleaning spree sometimes, but the next day I am back to dumping things on the floor!

I just seem to procrastinate everything in my life. I can have a whole week off and just spend it sleeping in till the afternoon or watching TV all day. I don't go to the shops until they are almost shut just because it takes me that long to get out of the house. I can make it to work on time, but I cannot time manage for myself. Only when someone else makes me. 

I am always late to things (significantly) and this frustrates everyone (including myself!). I want to change, but all these things in my life just seem too hard. I can have washing build up for months! I just don't know why I have no motivation and can't seem to get any.

I'm not sure if this is linked to my history of anxiety and depression or if it is something else. I was wondering if anyone had similar symptoms and if they had found a way to overcome them. 

 Thank you for your help.

[saturnzoon]

Welcome Sacntuary I'm sure you will love it here, as everyone Is so supportive.

I have been like this on and off for years,  having no motivation to do anything, 

I also feel numb in side me no anger, sadness, happy, just nothing, feelings like a zombie doing stuff but  not registiring what I ďid. I can't do the things I use to like,  I just sit outside, put an auiobook on and go on these sights to help , and similar to try and help, I just think maybe have a look at other mental health sights and listen here anytime you need.

someone is always available on line with different time zones.

Best wishes hope you feel better soon 

[Elizabeth CP]

I can relate to the lack of motivation & difficulty doing things. I find once I'm in a mess it is really hard to get started. My son is like you and his bedroom overflowed into the house once he developed depression.

One thing which helped me was identifying what I wanted. Previously I would feel bad because my house wasn't as clean as everyone else's. While this might motivate me when someone was expected it just lead to feeling inadequate & unmotivated the rest of the time. Now I think about what matters to me. For example I get very frustrated when I can't find things so I need things organised so I can find what I want. I also find it more pleasant being in a room that is tidy & looks nice to me so I try to keep it so I can sit and not be worried about how messy it is. My underwear drawer is messy because it doesn't matter to me I can still find things And I have things stored in unusual places but they suit me. 

One suggestion for tidying up is to grab a bin or container for rubbish, another for things to give away and some containers or boxes to pack stuff away in with similar items. At the end of a session throw away the rubbish & stack the sorted containers somewhere in a corner ,under the bed or wherever so you can pull them out another time wto continue until you are in a position to put everything in its final home. When things get too much I have sometimes put unsorted stuff in one box to do later so I feel like I'm more in control & not reminded of the unfinished part. Hope these suggestions help a little. As others said try to do manageable amounts you can't do everything at once & focus on what will benefit you the most

[Sanctuary]

Hi everyone!

 Yes, I am new and thank you for the welcoming 🙂

I am well, apologies for the delayed reply. I have a lot going on in my life career wise at the moment so I can become a little neglectful/forgetful.

I love reading everyone's stories. It's albeit in sorrowful circumstances that we're not alone. Which brings me to a couple of thoughts I've just had that may assist or at least stimulate for thought and reflection. I look back to school days and the 'cool group'. These groups appeared to have a sense of entitlement and confidence (they're not inherently more attractive or blessed than anyone else which may assist in that perception) and these same individuals, I know, have gone on to have what look like very successful, happy, fun lives. Is it possible that a) we compare ourselves to much to facebook 'happy snaps', stories and expectations and did someone at some stage tell us that acting 'cocky' was not acceptable or did you ever get called 'know it all' or similar. In doing so did that authority figure suck the zest of life out of us? If so, did that person who berated us stop to explain the difference between cocky and confidence? or is green eye monster buried in there somewhere??

The other thought I have had lately - Vocabulary and assertiveness. Growing up I never fought back to my sister or parents. Now, as an adult.. look out. I have a very hard time with double standards and I will command a room if I feel I need to. To many people I have met of late who feel they can manipulate me because they may feel as though I don't understand the eloquent terms they've just used but .. I assure you, I do.

I'm wondering if everyone's story is similar. There's always someone with a 'better life' and 'better stories' and only a few will know if they're true and I dare say read more, talk less and carry respect on your shoulders.

[Need_me_some_answers]

Wow I feel like I could've written this myself. How did you go, did you find any solutions?

[Guest_50418466]

Sounds like you have ADD. Depression and anxiety together and a lack of ability to complete anything.