Lack of Empathy

[ave_maria]

I'm not sure if this is the right thread to post this in or even the right place, but I'm confused and miserable so I don't know where else to go right now.

I basically have a lot of issues caring about basically anything - mostly, people. If my friends tell me about their issues I won't care and any advice or help I offer I do so because I think it's the right move to make in the conversation. My parents had extremely shitty lives but every time they tell me about this I can't care either, and any emotional distress I get from those conversations is because they're either pushing me too far or trying to make me open up about my feelings, which I'm never comfortable doing. Some days it feels like I only want friends so I have someone to talk to. 

When my parents tell me they love me it feels extremely disingenuous. I guess logically it must be true, since they tell me so often, but I have a hard time understanding what they mean, why they would or how that would feel. Similarly romance novels confuse me because I don't understand the concept of love as they portray it. I don't understand how you could ever feel that way about someone. I don't get why you'd need it.

I tried telling my parents about this, but my father says I'm too young to be depressed (19) and my mother thinks I'm making it up, which might be my fault since I  tried to withhold information for as long as possible and I've always found it difficult accepting help, so when she tried to talk about it with me, I told her no. Actually, coming to talk about it here was my big step forward. It's been months of poking around mental help sites. Signing up today was a big deal. A lot of sites I've seen say this means I'm a psychopath but I don't think that's true, since this has only been an issue for the last few years. 

I feel pretty strongly that there's something wrong with me. I could be wrong, and just be selfish like my mother said, but tonight wasn't the first time I'd broken down because I was scared that I didn't care about the people around me, or about myself. 

Sorry if this isn't the right place to post this.

[Fairywings]

Hi lovely, you have no doubt come to right place to vent. There is nothing wrong with you and please don't feel like you don't care about anybody but most importantly you need to put yourself first and look after you. It makes me sad that you are feeling pressured and not emotionally supported by your own parents this is something you will not feel in here so im really glad you have reached out to us. I'm 36 and i still don't get any emotional support from my parents just constant negativity all the time and its just not healthy for us to listen to and take this on board. I am constantly getting blamed and shamed 😞 You have done an amazing job so brave of you to open up on here and YOUR BY NO MEANS A PSYCHOPATH and none of this is any of your fault and you are definitely not selfish. if you r feeling unsure about yourself please go speak to your GP he may refer you on to seeing a psychologist so you can start the recovery process. Please keep in touch with us and let us know how you go. Take care Venessa. xx

[geoff]

dear Ave_Maria, it would seem to be impossible for you to even want to talk to your parents when they say 'too young to be depressed' as well as 'making it up' then whynwould anyone want to tell them how you are feeling, because they just wouldn't understand, nor would they accept anything you just told them, believing it to be all rubbish, well I'm sorry but they have a lot to learn about life, and what can happen these days.
Sometimes there is information on other sites that could indicate another interpretation, such as being labelled as a psychopath, but to be called that seems to be extreme, because nobody who has depression is a psychopath, so please never believe this, and your doctor is qualified to give you a diagnosis.
The title of your post 'lack of empathy' would seem to gel because of how your parents were behaving, not only to you but to each other.
The word LOVE is used or misused by people but it should always be used with integrity, and that's why we hope you can get back to us. Geoff. x

[digit_]

Man, reading this was like reading myself like a book and I'm also 19...... Sometimes I think am I a psychopath or Pysciopath and I'm just in denial? Ahaha, I don't care about listening to my sister or anyone tell me their problems and I say my sister In particular because she's very emotional and an open book... We've had MANY fights and physically fights for my coldness and disinterest in her problems, but I just really don't care and it angers me listening to it and Alls I'm thinking is are you going to SHUTUP? Sounds horrible but it's true! I do what you do and give advice if I really have too, just becauss that'd be the normal thing to do right? Ugh!! reading your thread for advice for myself too.