Is there any hope?

[S1nap5e]

Hey guys,

I'm not sure how to start this, but I'm a guy in year 12 currently and I feel that whenever I interact people, im not sure whether I get anxious or just way too excited, but I end up saying or doing something stupid and either making an ass out of myself, or worse my friends.

As a result I have felt like I have been shunned from the community for the past 2 years. I feel like people have started to consciously avoid me or ignoring me when I try to converse. Some people have even become a bit hostile towards me and I am feeling like that I have become a real liability to these people, attaching onto their conversations like some parasite. So I try isolate myself, prevent myself from being someone else's problem, but really inside I am feeling am feeling horrible. This cycles every month or so for me, and every time i've just felt worse and worse about myself, as I always look back in regret at those moments.

Theres also quite a large level of conflict in my family right now between my brothers and my parents, however i feel like ive already ruined my relationship with them too

Im not sure whether theres a way out of this, I feel like I've destroyed all my relationships so far and I feel like I really can't continue on. What truly is there to look forward onto in a future where you have nobody?

[Just Sara]

Hi and welcome S1;

I'm so sorry your post was lost among new threads from a very busy couple of days. I'm here with you now ok. Please don't let this put you off or think you're being ignored or avoided. I don't want you to think we're the same as your school environment.

I really feel for you even though I'm much, much (and probably another 'much' could be thrown in for good measure lol) older than you, but I still remember my school yrs none the less.

It doesn't matter what era we come from, the premise is still the same...wanting to fit in and be accepted. It's a time of learning new ways to communicate thru trial and error, but we often only recognise the embarrassing or awkward situations instead of our progress.

An important issue is being true to yourself. This I truly 'know' from experience and hindsight ok. I was totally wanting to fit in, I ignored myself and what I liked for the sake of what others liked. The problem was, they 'all' felt like me...lost and awkward too.

The stronger personality types draw in kids with a lack of self confidence, then they lead the pack with their likes and dislikes. Their followers take on those as their own. Decades later, everyone has separated and gone their own way.

We 'all' say; "I wish I'd known then, what I know now" It just is...

You're in your last months of school, so most of your time will be spent with study and exams soon. It's not long before Uni or whatever you choose to pursue, so please try to be patient. Relationships post-school days take on a whole new meaning.

I'd also like to refer you onto sites that specialise in young people.

Kids helpline (or phone 1800 55 1800) and;

Headspace

Unfortunately there's a glitch in the system and I can't produce the whole link, but if you google these sites, you'll find them without trouble.

I hope these help S1. I wish you luck in any endeavour or direction 'you choose' to follow. People with the same interests and goals will find you.

Good on you for being brave enough to reach out and ask for help. Don't hesitate to come back and share more of your story ok. 🙂

All my best...

Sez x

[startingnew]

Hello S1 and welcome to BB


as Sara said im sorry it took so long to get a reply. Its hard to write how your feeling esp when your new and havent got a clue what the reactions are going to be right...?
I thought the same thing but this isnt the case at all. This comimunity is very caring and understanding and will offer as much support as they can give. There is no judgement here.

It sounds like you get both anxious and excited when your around other people. A combination of both often lead to saying/doing stupid things and its not your fault. Its the nerves going all haywire and affecting what you do and say.


Im wondering what are the sort of people you hang around with and whether your brain is just trying to fit in with the others.... sometimes we just have no idea how to interact with others or we 'copy' what we see and who we interact with. Its a part of nature and everyone does it to an extent, some more than others.




Having family dramas affects us too. You have a fair few things going on at the moment that is causing you to feel horrible. Would you like to talk about what the conflict is- no pressure at all and only talk about what your comfortable with. And why do you say youve ruined this relationship aswell? Remember it takes 2 to tango and you cant be to blame for everyting.






As Sara has pointed out, your in your last few months of school. Things are very different when you leave (ive only been out for 3yrs). A lot of the things that you are doing or experincing at school right now will often be forgotten. People move on and create new memories so try not to worry about your past during the school years. Id suggest having a think about the person you would want to be – not what others want you to be but rather yourself and only you.


Whe you leave and your at uni/tafe, work or other interest groups youll create new friendships. Just try to be yourself and be the person you want to be. Then if people dont like it then its their loss, you cant please everyone and the people around you are the ones who want to be there.


Try the helplines such as kidshelpline- please dont be put off from the name they help people up to 25yrs old and headspace is pretty good also.


There is also a mensline as well but im not entirely sure of the name. Im sure if you looked it up though you would find it