Is anyone else a perfectionist? - Help and strategies!

[AshS1234]

Hi there,

Does anyone else struggle with perfectionism?

I have always been a 'perfectionist' but I tend to find that at times when I'm more stressed than normal, have more family issues to deal with than normal, and/or am feeling overwhelmed - my perfectionism will flare up to the point where I am barely able to do anything at all because I need it to be 'perfect'.

This mostly affects my uni work - I'll simply not be able to hand in assignments or will hand them in very very late, even though I may have worked on a fairly easy assignment almost non-stop for a month.

I'll also become more withdrawn in my personal life and I'll be unable to concentrate because I'll be thinking about my assignments. I'll be too stressed to be able to enjoy doing anything other than uni work, but seriously unproductive with my uni work.

I'll try breaking things down into smaller tasks but just the process of dividing the tasks will overwhelm me. I'll try setting a timer to 'sprint' but it doesn't solve everything.

If anyone has experienced issues with perfectionism, it would help to hear about it and know that I'm not so alone. If anyone has any tips, anything that has helped them or even stories of how they have managed to improve their thinking, then that would be extra help. Sending love to anyone who reads this 🙂 🙂

[MsPurple]

HI Ash and welcome to the BB forums. We are a peer based forum here to help support each other. If you want to look around at other threads and contribute feel free to do so 🙂

I myself have GAD (general anxiety disorder) which lead to me also getting depression. Before I was officially diagnosed I would get super anxious, and this anxiety I didn't know how to deal with. I put all the time and energy into trying to be perfect. I wanted people to see me as close to perfect. I would try control things I could such as eating health, having my bathroom or bedroom super clean, my uni assignments needed to be perfectly presented etc. It seemed the more I tried to be perfect, it would help with my anxiety temporarily, then I would reflect back on it and worried that I still wasn't good enough. This would keep me up at night reflecting over it and doing fake scenarios in my head of possible future events and how I would have to be perfect with that too.

For me a way to deal with it was to open up and get help. I couldn't deal with it alone anymore. I went to headspace when I was 23 and go refereed to a mental health nurse (counselor) and psychiatrist. Together we did some CBT and worked on how to deal with anxiety and how to reduce it. He came up with some strategies such as trying meditation before bed (when my racing thoughts would occur the most). I used the app called 'Calm' I only used the free section. I found the first few days I did it I wasn't fully convinced, but my counselor told me to do it every day for a week and I had started noticing the difference in my anxiety at night. I suggest giving meditation a try as well but do it a few times before judging it.

I also suggest if you haven't discussed it with a GP then it maybe a good idea to do so. Anxiety and perfectionism is a hard thing to deal with alone. They can refer you to a psychologist or counsellor that can help you combat it.

I also suggest looking into your universities disability services. If you struggle with mental illness or have a flare up in your mental health you can sign up with them and they offer you additional support (e.g. extensions, modified academic plan etc)

Hope some of this helps. You are not alone dealing with this

MP

[geoff]

hello AshS, well I don't think I can add much more than what MsPurple has said, it was fabulous advice, the only question I want to ask you is whether or not you suffer from OCD. Geoff.