Intrusive thoughts

[LemonJnr]

I am finding it hard to concentrate and cope with life. It's affecting me to the point that I just want to run away from all my problems. I have an older brother who I talk with, with just about anything but once he's gone, I start to think about the problems that are really stressing me out. I have no friends to talk with or hang out with so I don't have anyone else to confide in. I go to university and study, and I also work several jobs, but I feel I am going to be fired soon. I am struggling to learn fast on the job and because I work in fast food, it's really made me feel worthless. I get told not to think that way, so I learn to keep my problems to myself. I feel I am not going to succeed elsewhere if I fail in a fast food job that's supposed to be the 'stepping stone' job for all other jobs. After all, where am I going to succeed elsewhere if I can't do a simple job? It won't look nice on a resume. I really think it's the end for me because there is just so much expectation to succeed. The job market's tough so I feel like I won't be able to prove myself to the employers that really matter. I can't get these thoughts out of my head. I feel so slow and have lost all energy. What can I do or even hope for?

[BballJ]

Hi LemonJnr,

Firstly, welcome to the forums. Well done for reaching out and speaking about what you are going through. You are in a safe non judgemental environment.

Fast food is not for everyone, not every job is for every one, we all have special skills that we are good at and part of finding a career path is finding which one you are good at, just because it is fast food and seems easy doesn't make it easy, it is very stressful in those work place and not for everyone, I have been there and I didn't do too well with it but it just wasn't my thing. You seem to have so much on your plate with study and working several jobs.

Regarding all the intrusive thoughts, have you ever thought to seek help from your GP and ask about possibly speaking to a psychologist? The only reason I say this is that speaking to a trained professional can really help and put things into perspective for you. On these forums most, if not all of us are suffering or have suffered from a mental illness of some kind and I can relate to intrusive thoughts or overthinking as it may also be known. For me it is a form of my anxiety which I have suffered from for many years. I am not saying you have anxiety but when I was confused about it all and finally reached out for help, it gave me some clarity on what I was going through which is why I encourage you to do the same.

Please also remember you can call the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636 24/7 to discuss anything you are going through.

Please, feel free to write back as much as you wish, we are always happy to chat.

My best for you,

Jay

[Neil_1]

Hi there LemonJnr,

I too would like to welcome you to Beyond Blue and thank you for posting.

Jay has already responded to you with a very good post, so I hope you are able to take that in … some very good points there.

If I may, I’d just like to add, that with all these thoughts that are happening for you … sometimes it can help if you write them down. Just take some time out and jot them down … then put them in some sort of order, say for the ones that are most troubling – work your way through it.

I know for me, doing this can cause some tension to be eased, cause you can take stock and see just what is troubling you … and then even giving it a deadline or a timeframe.

The other thing, which Jay spoke about also is that you’ve got several jobs going plus you’re studying. That’s a pretty heavy workload, so it’s no wonder you’re feeling the stress from it all. Dude, I’m struggling with just doing one job 🙂 🙂 This shows me that you’ve got a tremendous amount of up and go, and willing to take on a number of things, that’s a great attitude to have, but I guess, you just have to monitor how much you’ve got on, cause you don’t want to over-pressurise yourself. I do hope that you’re getting some “me time” so you can unwind for a bit.

Neil

[J_M_12345]

Hi LemonJnr,

Completely agree with Neil and Jay. Here's my two cents worth.

From your post, it sounds like you've got a lot on your plate and you've had enough! It seems like you're a very hard worker - balancing several jobs AND university studies. Not many people sign up for that! However whilst that's a great quality, one thing I've learnt from my experience, and want to share with you, is that sometimes being an EXTREMELY hard worker isn't the best thing - not when it means you put too much on your plate, more than the average individual can handle, and when you're too hard on yourself. Please try to be kind to yourself. One technique that helps me with being kind to myself is asking myself that, had I a friend in my situation, what would I say to them? Often the things you'd say to a friend are very different to the harsh way we treat ourselves, so recognising that is important in working to be kinder to ourselves.

I know it's easier said than done, but it's certainly something that helped me so I hope it might help you, at least a tiny bit.

The other thing I wanted to reiterate is the importance of getting help. As Jay said, it might be worthwhile talking to your GP. The thoughts you describe (e.g. I'm not going to succeed anywhere else if I fail in a fast food job) sound like what's called "catastrophic thinking". This is common in people with anxiety, and is certainly something that can be treated with CBT with a qualified therapist. I'm not a therapist, so not trying to diagnose you here, but I do really really strongly want to restate the point about seeing a professional.

Ultimately though, you're situation is tough, but I'm certain you are tougher! You're doing the right thing in reaching out here and if you get the right help, I am certain there will be brighter days to come!

Stay strong.

With love,

Josette xx