Hi Louise, welcome to the forum, and a big 'well done you' on seeking out support and companionship from people who understand. You will find a lot of fine fellow travellers here.
I guess it's scary for you being diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and I'm glad to hear you're seeing a counsellor and that talking helps. Something that's really positive though is that you're getting help at a young age. A lot of people live with it for many years without knowing what's wrong, or that they can get help, and it shapes their lives. But it doesn't have to.
In my opinion, it's an illness - a hard one to fight, but it is fightable (if that's a word). Like people with physical illnesses, we can get better, we can manage the bad times and we can live like anyone else enjoying the good times. And for many people, it's not a lifetime thing - some people have an episode or episodes, but then get well and stay well. Others, like me, have to manage it as an ever-present part of life. But we can manage, with the right help and understanding, and it needn't stop us getting what we want out of life.
You're young and smart and motivated (else you wouldn't have reached out here). I suggest you read and learn as much as you can about your diagnosis (only proper information though, like provided by beyondblue - there's a lot of rubbish on the net, as always). Arm yourself with knowledge, talk to your counsellor, ask lots of questions, and please talk about and ask anything you want here.
As a mum of two fabulous young women, one of whom has also struggled with depression since her teens, may I make a comment re your parents. You sound protective of them, not wanting to talk because they seem to feel it's their fault. Feeling responsible for everything that happens with your child just goes with the territory of being a parent. Yes, they might feel it's their fault, that's natural. But I reckon they want to talk about it, about you and how you are ... I wish my daughter had opened up to me more when she was young. Or rather, I wish I'd paid more attention and encouraged her to talk. I had my own problems and I don't feel I gave her the time and care she needed, and I regret that so much now. Let your parents know you don't feel it's their fault, and let them in, let them help.
Please stay with us, and maybe have a look at the area for young people. You are not alone in this Louise. Very very best wishes to you.
Kaz
