Im always nervous and on the edge, please help

[veggie123]

i'm 17 and i have had this problem for a very long time. I am always nervous and on the edge, whether i am at school, work, with friends and even family and i try really hard to stop it but i can't. On a weekly basis I'll lock myself in my room or the bathroom and cry, feeling hopeless and worthless, and sometimes even

self harm. I'll laugh so much and make all these stupid jokes, I am very happy at this point and within seconds i will feel really depressed and start crying, it has happened in front of my mother before but she does not think it is a problem, what should i do? please help me... 

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[AGrace]

Hi veggie, 

Sorry for the delayed response. Welcome to the forums.

Being on edge all the time must be extremely exhausting. I'm not surprised to hear that as a result you end up in tears. Its sad that you've been suffering for so long, and it's disappointing to here that your mum hasn't felt the need to get you some extra support. 

I'd suggest a first step would be to get you off to see a GP. I'm not sure if you have a regular one that you could see, otherwise there's an extensive list of GPs who specialise in mental health on Beyondblue's website. I understand this might be a big step to take on your own at such a young age. Is there a friend that you think you could share your concerns with? And maybe ask them to go with you to the appointment? If not, it's not a problem Drs are trained to consult with teenagers so you will be in good hands. If finance is an issue,  check that your Dr bulk bills so that you won't be out of pocket. it might be a good idea to write some of your symptoms down before your appointment so the Dr gets the full picture. 

In the interim don't hesitate to contact Beyondblue via phone or webchat. They will be able to give you support and guidance. They could also give you some advice about re approaching your mum. When you feel ready I think it would be wise to let her know what's going on for you. 

Self harm is sadly quite common,  so you are not alone, however it's not a very good long term coping technique. So it's really important that you get the help you need. When you have urges like that try to distract yourself by going for a walk, listening to music, or reading. Holding ice cubes or flicking a rubber band on your wrist,  although not ideal, are less invasive ways to manage these urges.

Will you let us know how you go with the Dr? And please continue to post here as often as you need, we're more than happy to listen and offer support. 

A GRACE

[TheSteve]

Hi Veggie,

Thanks for sharing your story, that took some serious courage which you obviously have a lot of putting up with these feelings all these years. You are a trooper.

AGrace has given some great advice, she has provided a roadmap for you to get started on the path to taking control over these feelings. Empowering yourself by acting on her advice is really a huge first step, and a necessary one.

In addition to starting down this path of recovery, there are small things you can do every day to improve your mood, build your confidence, gain a sense of control over the feelings, and slowly diminish them. I have listed some which I have personally used, below:

- Mindful Breathing: the one thing you can control, nerves or no nerves, is the pace, depth, and type of breath you are taking. By learning to breath slowly and consciously, using your entire lower lungs (belly breathing), you can calm your body and mind, and gain control over your feelings whether in public or private. It takes some practice, but it may be the most powerful tool you learn at this stage of your life.

- Smiling and Laughter: if you wake in the morning and feel sad or nervous, start to smile. Even if you don't feel like it, force a smile for 20 - 30 minutes. This is another activity you can control physically, and it will have a physical and psychological impact on you in a short amount of time. Laughter is even better, if you can steal 10 - 20 minutes a day for a good, hard laugh, do it as often as you can. This oxygenates your body and blood, and releases endorphins (the "feel good" hormone).

- Eat healthy: stay away from junk, sugar, soda etc. and eat well. You can find your own diet to suit your body and tastes, avoid allergens like gluten and stimulants like sugar, caffeine etc.

- Exercise: self explanatory, don't overdo it and build up to a healthy level. Again, oxygenate yourself and release endorphins.

There are many other things, these a a few that you can do, now, and take control over the situation. I wish you well Veggie, come back and chat anytime.

Steve