I moved to a new school and nobody likes me

[Guest_55730222]

hi guys. I just need someone to talk to. At the start of this year I moved to a new school, not knowing anyone. Things were going well, except everyone already knew each other very well, so it was hard for me to fit in. I had found a friend group quite quickly, the ‘popular group’, but I never really talked because everyone I would talk, everyone would kind of go silent, or it would be ignored. It wasn’t too bad until about 1 or 2 weeks ago, when all my friends stopped talking to me. I would stand next to a few girls in the morning before class (my friend group) and they would ignore me every time I said something or answer it but not really pay attention to me. I try to make conversation but lots of them just ignore me. Then one of my actual friends from that school who left last term ( just my luck), showed me messages between one of the girls in my friend group I was quite close with today. The girl in my friend group said that I am being annoying, and that our group no longer likes me. She said that I don’t talk and just sit there (which I do I’ll be honest but only because no body listens to me), and that I make no effort to initiate conversation ( which is not true). I once tried to initiate convo with that girl and she ignored me so like yk. Anyway lately all the girls in my group have been ignoring me, taking photos infront of me, it’s so bad and it’s made me full on depressed and had self harm thoughts. Please does anyone have any tips or something I am desperate. 

[Scared]

You already know that the popular group are not popular to you.   And if they ignore you and now " gaslight " you ( google gaslight meaning) then be brave and strong and start talking to other people in your school.  These are not your friends and you need be confident and say to yourself that you can find better people to hangout with.   I know it not easy but being ignored is not easy also.   I wish I had the courage when i was at school to reject the popular group sooner.   Keep saying hello to them as you navigate better people to befriend.   Anybody who ignores you then gaslights you are not popular in the real world.

To make new friends join group activities or sports and slowly make the transition to a better school experience.   Ask yourself do you deserve to be ignored?

NO of course not   Then make the change and im sure school will get better

[BlueLily]

Hi there,

Welcome to the forum! It's terrible to hear how your friends are treating you.

Although I've long past my school days, I vividly remember how challenging it was as I've been to 3 schools. Every time felt like I was starting from scratch to build friendships and it was very nerve-racking. I remember one time I noticed one girl had lot of similarities to me. I gathered the courage to go up to her and ask "do you want to be my best friend?" and surprisingly she said yes. Year later she left school (just my luck too!) leaving me with no actual friends.

I can imagine how weird and uncomfortable you felt when others completely ignored you when you were talking to them. Similar incident happened to me when I decided to distance myself from one girl. That girl seemed to have gone around and told the whole class not to talk to me. So everywhere I went students were ignoring me. It felt like I was being bullied. Rather than trying to force them to talk to me, I decided to just focus on my studies and extra curricular activities. Soon after everybody got tired of pretending and I was doing well at exams so they slowly started talking to me and became friends. 

Take care