Dear Littlebluefish~
I'll join Nat in welcoming you here where there are many with an anxiety condition like you - I'm one of them. Nat said she thinks now she should have sought medical help when she was stuck, and I'd agree. My own improvement only came after I was on the right treatment -therapy and meds.
So like Nat I'll ask if you are currently under treatment? If you are then you really need to see your doctor and explain your regime (hopefully both meds and therapy) needs adjusting as it is ineffective. If not then of course now is the time to see the GP in a long consultation and start to get help.
Retreating from a situation can be a bit of a double-edged sword, well that's what I've found. There is of course the immediate relief - because the stressor has been removed. Symptoms get better almost immediately. Under some circumstances the adverse reaction it created is so threatening that retreat is unavoidable.
The other side of course is that regrets and self doubt increase. One thinks to oneself if one cannot do something now, it will never be any better in the future.
As a result it is worth a great deal of ingenuity and planning to try to keep going - and if one succeeds self-worth does increase, there is a sense of accomplishment, even pride. Having things to look forward to after work, concentrating on the actual work rather than the people at work, trying to break up the working day with pauses or rests to regroup - plus exercise and walking - all these have helped me.
There is a free smartphone app called Smiling Mind. I use it both on a regular basis to try to keep my base stress levels down and when needed to combat anxiety when it gets extreme. It takes practice but I have found it pretty good.
I'd suggest to try if you can to hang in for a while, you may well find things get easier with practice, the workplace will not seem so strange or intimidating.
Have you anybody in your life who you can talk to, to encourage you and help?
Croix
