Hi Terriella.
You sound like you have taken on a huge burden for someone who is 13. You are amazing how you are trying to support your mum even though you are getting hurt. Just finding this forum and asking for help is so mature. My daughter is your age and she is in awe of how resourceful you are and worried about how you are coping.
I don't know if I can really help but someone here will.
The first thing to remember is that this is not your fault. You can't control Mum's moods or the decisions she makes, only your own. At the moment she probably doesn't know how much she is affecting those around her or she is feeling confused and guilty because she thinks she should be doing a better job at being a mum.
I think you want to do something practical. I think it would be best to get some adult help or at least to talk to someone older about it.
Do you ever get to see the doctor by yourself? If you do, they would be great for you to speak to and kind of anonymous.
Perhaps a relative like an older cousin or grandparent that you trust could help.
Or, do you have a student counsellor or school chaplain at school? Or even a school nurse?
Because those people can talk to you and to Mum they might be able to help her see what is going on and get you all some help.
Try to remember she loves you and she isn't trying to hurt you on purpose but don't blame yourself no matter what.
