I'm 26. Need help to start over with life. also im having anxiety issues now maybe.

[steamboyjerry]

Hello everyone, its my first time posting. I hope this is a good place to just get all of my thoughts out of my chest. Im hoping im not the only one with this problem.

I am 25 years old. I graduated with a degree in Uni. its been 2 years now since i got it and i didnt do anything with it. I honestly didnt think about applying for jobs since i graduated i just was so unmovtivated. I preferred to waste a whole year just doing what i wanted to do e.g. exercise, eat better, play music, play video games. With a dead-end job to help keep me sort of afloat financially, at that time i did feel a sense of happiness and contentment. I couldnt do most of that while I was busy studying so i figured why not.

Looking back at it now, I think i pursued a degree only from pressure from family. During uni i just studied (barely), didnt make friends, didnt make professional connections, or use any university resources to work on skills to get the job i wanted. Nothing of it drove me to do anything useful for me. I kind of attempted to work on it currently but i think its too late to work on any of it now. i am almost certain that I cant get any job using my degree because i didnt work on ANY skill that will make me employable. I made a dead end for myself bigtime. I just feel so stupid that I pretty much wasted 5 years of my life.

So now, im thinking of starting over. I think im just realizing now that i wasnt motivated to work on any of it because its not really what i want to do in life. Is there a resoure that i could use to Maybe TAFE/VET is the best way to go? I dont feel motivated to do another 4 years of writing academic papers again.

However, im back square 1 where im unsure of what I want to pursue in life and its frustrating. I want to do something worthwhile/ just get a fulltime job by the time im 30 and i feel like this year is the time to make that crucial decision. However, the stress of it is overwhelming to me. I feel like im having a mini-breakdown. I wake up 2-3 times for the past 3 days. I wake up feeling unrested. I sometimes catch myself just pacing about. Im less coordinated at work. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to cope with this if they had a similar situation? Should i seek medical help?

Sorry for the long post but i hope someone reads this. I just feel super down right now i guess. The downiest in my life so far.

[james1]

Hello steamboyjerry

Welcome to the forums. It's good to meet you here. I am not much older than you at 29, and I certainly remember that experience of coming out of uni and going, what now? Some of my friends even now are going through that very same worry and it's really tough for them mentally. Almost like a quarter life crisis, really.

In my own experience, feeling like you've gotten nowhere in life can both be a good ol kick in the butt to a complete debilitating feeling which leads to depression. In my case, i was 25 when that happened and I did have a bit of a breakdown for a year which led me to these forums.

So I guess I'm just saying: if you feel like you need support, and I understand from your post that this is a really challenging time for you, don't feel worried at all about reaching out. I certainly don't want to be telling you to go see a doctor, or not see a doctor, but I am hearing that you are struggling and could do with a bit of help at the moment and you might find it useful to have someone to talk to. GPs can be really good at giving you a perspective from someone who's not family or friend, and just has their professional experience and desire to help.

Still, I'm glad you've come here because it can also help to just hear what other people's experiences have been. Life stories to accompany the professional advice. I hope it helped to write your post and get some of that stuff off your chest. It sounds like you've been doing quite a bit of thinking recently and I'm glad to hear you are thinking about where you want to actually go from here.

In terms of questioning whether to do TAFE or VET courses, do you have any friends or other acquaintances (extended family, family of friends..etc) who you could chat to? A friend of mine was in a real bind until he started doing some woodworking with a friend's father. It's not what he'll go into, probably, but in the end he really enjoyed it even as a hobby. Sometimes I find it can really help to just talk to people in the area, and give things a go.

James

[steamboyjerry]

Hi James,

Thanks for reading my post. It does make me feel a little better knowing that Im not the only one dealing with uncertainty at this point in life. It did made me feel way better just putting all my thoughts out here and just getting it off my chest. Ive been sleeping kinda better lately since it all cuz i get tired of all the self loathing for a while and i got back to thinking about how i should actually get through this.

At the moment i just dont know who to reach out to since i dont really have a lot of friends. My siblings all studying at uni. I dont have any contacts that pursued a career using TAFE. Most people i know went to Uni. I guess Ill just ask the people at TAFE later and see what they know. I still think its good for me since I dont need to commit too much time just to learn and get employment. What I am most worried about is i dont know still what i want to pursue again. Thinking about what to do next is extra scary for me since I dont want to make another mistake of pursuing something i dont really feel 100% on and wasting another couple of years. All i am sure lately is that I should start over and thats my best bet.

[james1]

Hello steamboyjerry,

Sorry it took me a little while to respond. Last week was a bit hectic and I was not at home.

I am glad to hear it helped you feel better just to put your thoughts out here, and that you've been sleeping better. It's quite amazing how even a bit of improved sleep can help things sometimes.

It sounds like asking the people at TAFE is a good way forward. Sometimes we can get so caught up in anxieties about the second or third step ahead, that we don't even take the first step, forgetting that every step actually does take us closer and make the next one easier.

It is very normal for people around our age to really not know what to pursue. I was at a friend's place in Canberra last week and we had an interesting chat about careers and what percentage of our friends are working in things they're actually really really passionate about. We kind of landed on "not many", which is a little worrying, but at the same time I think it's just a reflection of how difficult it can be to work out what job aligns best.

I hope you're doing alright.

James