For five years I had been with my girlfriend, and our relationship was rock solid. We would always talk about any problems we had and we would help each other through anything and everything. She had gone through quite a spell of depression, and I gave everything I could unconditionally to help her through it all, simply because she was a wonderful person who deserved no less. She had said many a time, that I was the only reason that she is alive today.
But four months ago, I started having mental issues myself, feelings of being unloved and that no one cared for me. I was on holiday with family at the time and a long way from home, and I wasn't one to reach out to family members for support (that has changed in the last couple of months). So I thought, "who better than to ask my girlfriend for help? She has gone through tough times herself and I'm sure she would understand how I felt and what could help me feel better". So I asked her for support, told her of my feelings and that I just wanted to feel happier. Initially she offered some support, but it wasn't enough to keep the bad thoughts away for good. So I kept asking for help, but eventually she started saying and doing things that made my thoughts even worse. These actions from her almost confirmed the extremes of my bad thoughts: that not even my girlfriend cared about me. I ended up getting quite upset because of this, but then she said she wasn't willing to help me any more, and that she wasn't happy with the relationship. She ended the relationship, saying that she didn't want to put up with my demands anymore.
It's been almost two months since the breakup and I'm still destroyed in a number of ways. I struggle to find enjoyment in life, as well as the enthusiasm or motivation to do things. Consequently, my university studies have been impacted heavily, having used to achieve high distinctions across the board and now struggling to pass. Some of my friendships have been damaged too, and my now ex girlfriend has shown no signs of care towards me, having stated that she doesn't owe me anything and that what's fair doesn't matter.
I just wanted help, because I hated feeling sad and worried. But instead I was reduced to my lowest then abandoned by the one person I gave everything to, who I always helped and loved unconditionally. I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought she would understand.
Now life is just difficult, and the bad thoughts it all started with have just gotten worse.
