I just feel down and alone.

_-Jack-_ · ‎31-10-2016

I have kind of resented these kind of sites, but i have no one else i can talk to.

Im 15.

I feel like i am completely alone, i thought i had so many friends, friends i thought i could count on. But suddenly they have all kind of drifted away from me and i can't figure out why. Sure, i have laughs in class with a few of my mates but i wouldn't consider them someone i would want to see outside of school. These friends i once had, i trusted them with my life, i told them all my secretes... now poof they're gone. To make matters worse some of them have told some of my deepest secretes to other people in my year and now if i attempt to make conversation with someone i don't really know, i get a weird look and they just walk away so I've kind of given up on talking to anyone new. I have a group of about 10 mates who do make my school life bearable but as i said none of these guys would be like my old mates, I couldnt trust them, maybe thats because my trust was so badly broken before? On the weekends i used to go out with my mates, now i sit in my room and feel down because i have no one who wants to go out with me. As far as I can see i haven't changed since I was friends with them all, so I really struggle to see what i did wrong. I get jokes made about my weight, i act like i don't care and its funny, but i do- it really hurts. Today has got me feeling extra sad, all my year level (120+ kids) are doing something fun for halloween, they all do it in their friendship groups, trick or treating or partying and i wasn't invited to a single one of those gatherings, i mean even the 'losers and nerds' at my school are doing something and heres me, halloween night typing out my feelings to whoever will listen. At school I act like the class clown or the joker because i guess, if i can't be happy, putting a smile on someone else face is just about the closest thing ill ever get. I guess you could say I exaggerate the parts of me I like to try and stop the sad parts of me from coming out, I've put on a smile and act like a clown so much I don't even really know when I'm sad anymore. Ive had two of my immediate family pass away this year, i really needed someone, a friend, someone who i could count on to cheer me up. But there was no one. I just want to turn back time, about 4 months, when i had what i thought were really good friendships. Now i question myself, were all these friendships just lies?

I just feel alone, sad and friendless.

Thanks for listening.

Zeal · ‎01-11-2016

Hi Jack,

Welcome to the forum, and sorry about the delayed response!

First off, I'm really sorry to hear that this year you lost two members of your immediate family. If you don't mind me asking, do you have family members you feel close to and are comfortable talking to about things that are bothering you?

I felt alone in high school, even though I also had friends to hang out with. I've had anxiety for 10 years, since I was 13. As a shy teen with low self-esteem and anxiety, I found connecting with others difficult at times. It got better after high school though.

I highly recommend going to a GP for a referral to a counsellor. This may not sound particularly appealing, but it could make a huge difference to your wellbeing. Seeing a counsellor isn't just for people who have mental illness. Some people go when they are having relationship problems, to deal with grief/loss, or general life stress. You can talk confidentially about the loss of your family members, school friendships and concerns about trust. If you are worried about the cost of these counselling sessions, going to the counsellor (or similar person) your school has is an option.

If you want to talk to someone at any time, day or night, you can call the Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800. This service is for 5 - 25 year olds. Visiting the Kids Helpline website is worthwhile: https://kidshelpline.com.au/

I hope this forum is helpful 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

BballJ · ‎02-11-2016

Hi Jack,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

Wow, what a post, I can relate to you 100%, I had very similar issues in high school, not getting invited to certain things, no one really to hang out with, I had a group of friends who also made school bearable but 10 years since i finished, i don't see or speak to any of them, so I understand. I didn't meet my close group of friends until i was 19-20, and now I have a solid group of friends and wife I can count on for anything. I guess I'm trying to say don't let it get you down too much, you will find your true friends and ones you can trust. I use laughter and making people laugh as a coping mechanism for my anxiety. I have for years so again I get what you are saying. If you can take Zeal's advice above and prehaps speak to a counsellor, it doesn't mean anything other that you wanting to better yourself. If I could of started counselling to deal with my anxiety, when I was young, i wonder what a different spot I would be in today.

I know it's hard but keep your head up mate and try and stay as positive as you can.

My best for you,

Jay

imosascha · ‎07-11-2016

I can really relate to this!!!!! I am 14 and I have also felt like i had no real friends. I have spent my holidays at home alone feeling upset and believing that i had no friends. This may be a weird suggestion and i don't know if you already do but lately i have been finding really great friends who are guys (i am a girl). I know it would seem wierd and be really hard to suddenly go and sit with a group of girls but if you can even be more friendly with the girls in your grade you may find them easier to relate too or i don't know. anyway I have been in your situation and i know it is so hard to find quality friendship.

gld · ‎08-11-2016

Hi Jack,

Thank you for sharing your story and showing others it is good to do so it does not eat us up. Sharing helps lift that heavy height we seem to carry before we do so.

Zeal has given you a contact to call to talk to someone. I have a great buddy with a young son who has been in touch with another organisation who has helped him. They too, help the younger community who are finding different issues in their life difficult and give them a helping hand to gain tools to overcome them. The organisation is called Headspace phone 1800 650 890 [check out their website].

Jack you are so in touch with your feelings and i feel that there are a lot of people in high school are not at this point at the same age. Looking back on high school i did feel uncomfortable finding my place but i was not alone and many more could not find the click to lock into. Being an individual is more powerful and there is nothing written in concert saying you have to be connected into one group.

It is not the quantity of friendships we have it is the quality of friendships we have and sometimes this takes time to find them.It is good to become more comfortable in our own skin and not beat ourselves up when we move through difficult periods of life.

Friendships could be found in other places apart from school for example in a part time job, playing sport or finding an interest group which grabs you.

Stay strong and stay true to yourself.

Gen