I have no friends

[Gothamfan]

I’m not to sure how to use this yet, but I just wanted to talk about something

my mental health has been getting worse and worse especially in this last semester, and recently I’ve had a falling out with some of my friends, these friends are in most my classes. These friends really did make me happy because of how much fun I had with them, but I’ve been kicked out and I honestly can’t pin point the reasons why, I do know I shouldn’t have said some things but anyway this made me realise how depressed and hopeless I really am, along with the fact that I have virtually no real friends, my ‘best’ friends are still friends with the friends I fell out with and they always talk to them and sit with them at lunch and I have nowhere else to go so I just sit near them and don’t speak. I know it makes it awkward but I literally have no one else to go to. On top of this For years I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts and I really don’t know what to do.

i am sorry if this upset or annoyed anyone but I just wanted to vent because I don’t have anyone to talk to

[Sophie_M]

Hi Gothamfan,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here.

We are sorry to hear that you have been struggling with suicidal thoughts and feel you have no one to talk to. It sounds like things have been super tough for you recently, especially after having a falling out with some of your friends. We want to remind you that all life is important, including yours and you have significant strength and deserve to live a happy life.

We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you and we trust that our online members will stop by to provide some support. 

We want you to know that there is always extra immediate support available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

We have also reached out to you privately to see how we can support you and to also check in with you. Please check your inbox and reply.

We hope that you stay safe but strongly urge you that if you feel like acting on thoughts of ending your life, then this is an emergency and you should contact 000 immediately.
 
Keep checking back in with us whenever you need to.

[Isabella_]

Hi there,
Please don't apologise for anything. This is the right place for you to share, I'm really glad you have, it's not easy.

I can see you're having a really hard time right now. It's painful losing the people closest to you.. On top of that struggling with your own depression and suicidal thoughts. I imagine it's a lonely feeling to not have a support system, and struggling to understand why they've fallen out with you.. I'm really sorry that you've been isolated by your friends and that school has been really hard.

You mentioned you've been struggling with suicidal thoughts for years.. Have you ever told anyone in your life about that?

If you feel like you might act on your thoughts or your suicidal thoughts become really strong, I hope you feel that you can note down and call one of the phone numbers listed by Sophie, and of course 000 if necessary. I thought I'd mention that if you aren't comfortable talking on the phone, you can text Lifeline at 0477

I hope you're taking care. I'm here whenever you need to chat, I'm here to listen. I know you don't have people to talk to in your life right now.. But I hope you know that I and others here do care about you, and I hope that counts for something.

I'd love to hear from you. ❤️

[Sophia16]

Hi Gothamfan,

It sounds like you are going through such a hard time and you are feeling helpless. You have been so strong.

I just want to say, if your friends kicked you out, then they are definitely not worth your time. True friends will stay with you through thick and thin.

It took me 19 years to find out who my true friends were. I realised that no matter how i acted and what i did, they stayed with me.

Please stay safe and i am here to chat if you need me.

[sbella02]

Hey Gothamfan,

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience, and I totally relate. I've been in and out of friendship groups for pretty much all of my life, and it's still so hard to find true, loyal friends.

The trajectory of our friendships changes throughout our lives. The older we get, the more we change and develop, and our friendships follow similar patterns. Sometimes friendships just don't work out, and that's okay, that's natural and we shouldn't blame ourselves.

There are plenty of things you can do to find friends outside of your classes. External friends can help you cope with a lot of personal struggles as they offer an objective perspective on these situations as well as an escape from your lost friendships. There are clubs you can join based on your interests; if you're into sport for example, you can always find some great friends in your teammates, or if you like arts, there would be lots of activities and programs around your area that you can be a part of. These kinds of activities are great for finding friends, and having common interests is already a good start.

Online friends may also be able to provide you some great support, friendship and reassurance. Discord is a good place to start for this, as it's easy to find people with common interests or similar experiences. You can also try searching for Facebook groups specific to your area, obviously being cautious and safe if you do decide to meet up with people in real life.

I hope this advice helps, and I wish you well in this situation. Just remember, friendships change and grow over the years, and it's okay for them to end sometimes.

All the best, SB

[Gothamfan]

Hi Isabella

thank you so much for replying to my post, I just wanted to thank you all for offering support.

having no support system is really hard but I’m considering going to therapy, I’m just scared that they will take me to a psych ward or something or put me on medication but I’m mostly scared to open up to someone, I’ve never been good at expressing my problems well and the severity of them I feel as though my feeling aren’t big enough for help, and there’s people with bigger problems who need it more than me. I feel so selfish event now ranting about my problems to people I don’t even know, but I want you to know I am truly great full for you for listening to my problems even if you have no idea who I am, thank you

<333

[Isabella_]

Hey, of course. That's what we're here for 🙂

I think it's amazing that you want to go to therapy. I'm not sure what state you live in or your age... In NSW, someone requires involuntary care and treatment in a psych ward if there's reason to believe there is irrational behaviour that could cause potential harm to yourself/someone else. I would really recommend you research the laws of consent in your state in terms of admission into a psych ward if it's something you're concerned about.

But if you are seeking therapy.. I want you to know that those facilities aren't the first resort. Many people disclose having suicidal thoughts to their doctors and this doesn't by any means guarantee admission anywhere, unless you say that you've taken steps to end your life or are actively planning to.

I know in NSW you can make medical decisions like seeing a therapist or GP without a parent being notified, if that's something you're worried about. Being prescribed medication for a mental health condition requires your consent.. You cannot be forced to take it. In my experience, my GP suggested a small dose of an antidepressant for suicidal ideation, and I accepted it because I wanted to.. And I believe he suggested it because it was a crisis situation. He then made me a mental health care plan, and I went to see a psychologist.

I can see that you try to minimise your feelings and feel guilty for talking about them with us.. It's incredibly common and hard to overcome. Please know that everything you're going through is heard and it's valid. You are allowed to be honest about struggling with suicidal thoughts and depression. You are allowed to be in pain. I know it's easy to feel shame, but I hope you come to a place where you learn that you have no reason to be ashamed.

It's not easy to open up, especially to a stranger. But in my experience, they are well aware of that and are trained to help you with it, and ease you into things. They respect what you do and don't want to talk about and they're very patient and understanding.

There will always be someone who has it harder than we do.. But that is no reason to dismiss your own feelings.. It doesn't make them go away. It's a toxic sort of mindset and it's very common.. It's usually passed down I think. But I hear and believe your pain. You aren't selfish.

I'm here if you want to chat <33