I don't understand how I feel...

[mmmmmm]

I always find myself feeling as though I'm guilty of something. Even if I've done nothing wrong. I'm confused and frustrated because I feel like maybe I have anxiety but I don't want to tell anyone. I don't want to have anxiety so I keep convincing myself I don't. I feel stupid even writing this online because I don't even know how I feel. I'm really close with my best friend and my family but I don't ever feel like I could tell them because I don't actually know what I'm trying to explain? if that makes remotely any sense. I constantly feel like I'm letting people down and dissapointing them, even if they're happy. I also feel like the harder I try not to upset people, the more I upset them and make them feel bad. And it's worse if I do nothing because I still feel like I'm letting them down. I don't know how to explain it any further except I feel guilty for letting people down without even knowing I'm letting them down. I just feel useless and like my hands are tied. Theres nothing worse than making people feel upset and not being able to change it. Don't even know why I'm on this website, maybe to see if anyone has ever felt/feels the same? Any wise words?

[Fairywings]

Hello and welcome ur definitely in the right place u will be supported in here and you can open up about anything u like and feel safe about doing so. Anxiety can play all sorts of games with ur mind it will allow you to develop all sorts of insecurities that u couldn't even think were even possible that's the nature of it. I can see definitely ur reaching out and that's a huge first move to recovery. I know u said u don't feel comfortable with telling anyone how about writing it down in a diary that way at least ur not keeping it locked away inside u. Have you ever thought about visiting ur gp and just having a chat i believe it would do u the world of good and u always have us u can always talk to we will be here for you every step of the way. I am also very happy to hear you have support around you xx I hope this helps you in some way and please do stay in touch with us. Take care now venessa

[Guest_322]

Hi there,

You are clearly going through a very stressful and upsetting period. Anxiety can be deeply unsettling and trigger all sorts of emotions in you- like feelings of guilt. Venessa summed it up beautifully when she said that anxiety plays games with our mind.

Dottie

I second her suggestion to see a GP (if you haven't already) as he/she can explore options that could help you.

[TheSteve]

Hi mmmmmm,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. There is some great advise above from Venessa and Dottie, you should most certainly spend some time with a GP and also see a behavioural therapist/counselor in order to get all of this off your chest.

I will tell you that your post actually made a lot of sense. Anybody on this site who has experienced anxiety, negative thoughts, self doubt, low self esteem etc. understands precisely what you are saying about being confused, not knowing what your real feelings are, and how others may perceive you. The thing is - in the real world, others almost never, ever perceive you the way you "think" they perceive you. This is all the doing of your anxious mind, it has convinced you of a problem that has no independent existence or reality, no permanence. It is something you are however feeding without knowing so.

From here, please go and see your doctor and then a counselor; keep your support network around you strong; learn what "mindfulness" is (simply Google search it and see what you learn) as this will greatly help you monitor and understand the genesis of your feelings and thoughts; live a healthy life and eat plenty of good brain foods; exercise; and laugh, laugh, laugh!

A multi-pronged strategy is often required to heal ourselves. We are here for you anytime, all the best.

Steve