How to help my boyfriend be happier at uni

[Cannie]

Hi everyone,

It's my first time posting anything, so if this is in the wrong thread sorry in advance!

My boyfriend (20) and I (19) have been together for the past two years and overall I think we have a pretty great relationship. We both care a great deal for each other and love spending time together. However we are essentially each others only friend. I have come to terms with this and am comfortable with one great partner to spend my time with, however latley my bf has been getting really sad about not having more friends in his life. He moved a short distance to live on campus at his university (Monash) and has been really excited to meet some new people in this new setting.Things havnt really been going as planned tho. I got really nervous at the prospect of him branching out and meeting new people (in my mind this meant I wouldn't be seeing bf as much as I had previously and would no longer be such a large part of his life) which made me pretty bad at being supportive and excited for him in his first week on campus. Fast forward to this week and I am feeling a lot more secure in the change and am really hoping everything goes well for him there, but bf hasn't made the progress he hopped he would during the orientation week. So far despite going to most social events during the orientation week bf hasn't made any friends only a few acquaintances, and is scared that once uni actually starts he will have lost his opportunity to meet new people. I should probably also mention that this is our second year at uni and bf did not enjoy classes last year at all. Luckily he has changed degrees so hopefully this will be a more enjoyable semester.

If I am entirely honest I don't think we are the type of people who inspire friendship with others. As much as we love being with people we just don't look verry approachable and are pretty introverted, so this has been a bit of an issue making friends.

Overall I just want some advise for how to help my bf feel happier while he is going through this. If anyone here has lived in campus at uni how did you make friends and is there anything you could suggest him trying? I hate seeing him sad like this and would love some advise on how to help him along

Sorry for the long text. Thanks to anyone who actually got through it all!

[Animals_Rock]

Hi there, I certainly got through reading your message okay. It was not wordy, just very detailed which can be helpful for both other members to assist you where we can, and sort of meditative for you to get all the emotions out on the page.

Is your boyfriend able to join any groups or seek professional help from other. Does he eat lunch on campus? Maybe he may like to have a goal of mixing with other person or smiling at three different people in order to try and socialise/interact. This is definitely on the basic end of the spectrum these activities, but they are worth giving a go. It is definitely hard to find suggestions for your situation as I'm not currently living in it sorry. So please, my advice is not professional, but this was all I could think of.

[talklp]

Hey.
I am by no means a professional, but I have shared similar experiences as your boyfriend in some respects.
I'm in my final year at uni, and in my experiences, uni is not the cliche 'party' that it is made out to be in movies etc. Balancing a job, uni, other activities and socialisation is tough at the best of times.
Every single person at Uni is there knowing little to no one. So don't be afraid of being the only one!

My advice to your boyfriend comes in two approaches.
1. During O-Week I feel people can overpresent themselves, too eager to try create friends early. This is okay, but I feel he will eventually gravitate to like-minded people throughout his studies during classwork and group projects. You already have something in common with the people around you (your class! and interests in study), so start with that. 🙂
2. There are other places to make friends. Particularly, for me, through work! Most of my work colleagues are some of my better friends at the moment.

Best of luck to you both. You've taken the right steps already!