How the heck am I supposed to work

[Slinkums]

Hi, first post here, bit about me:

20 year old uni student grinding my way through a bachelors degree. Pretty broke at the moment. Luckily accomodation and food and the like are covered by me living with my parents, but pressure from them and also needing money to socialise and generally function in any capacity beyond vegetating at home has led me to consider casual or part time work. Only problem is I'm physically very slow and weak, and the only jobs available to me are basic retail work such as customer service, stacking shelves, etc.

I've previously had two jobs, (one of each of the aforementioned retail positions), neither of which was anything approaching a positive experience. I was constantly reprimanded by my superiors to work faster/be more positive and sociable towards customers (two things i really struggled with) to the point where i was getting less and less shifts in favour of other, more competent coworkers. This was incredibly demoralizing. Both cases i started working alongside several other new recruits, and basically stood at a standstill as they improved at their jobs, even ending up as my supervisors in multiple cases. These past negative experiences (coupled with the fact that no other aspect of my life is going so hot) make the prospect of another job seem like each working morning turning into a coin toss. Not really sure what other money making alternatives are available to me. Parents make too much to be eligible for youth allowance and I hardly have time with uni to also learn some other qualification. Not really looking forward to the near or far future at the moment! Any help or suggestions would be appreciated 🙂

[Slinkums]

WHOOPS! think I might have posted this in the wrong forum. Sorry guys, I'll move it over to the employment one

[Doolhof]

Hi Slinkums,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and to the Community here. Firstly, it is great you have found this site and have felt comfortable enough to share how you are feeling.

I don't think it matters too much where you actually send your post, if it is in the totally wrong place, then the moderators behind the scenes will place it where they think it best fits.

You have a lot on your plate! I don't know a lot about income that is available to students, but I did not realise Government assistance had anything to do with your parent's income!

Is there a medical reason for you being "physically slow weak" in a work situation? Is this something that needs to be checked out by a Dr.?

Do you have an opportunity even three days a week, to go out for a walk and have some exercise to help build yourself up?

Have you spoken to anyone professionally about how you are feeling? In all reality, how often do you consider the thought of "jumping under a bus"?

I'm only asking because I have thoughts like that quite often and they are certainly not pleasant thoughts to have. I would like to encourage you to chat with your Dr. or use a telephone help line if you really do feel like this is your only option for the day.

You can call places like Beyond Blue, Life Line, Suicide Help lines and so many more. Are there people at the Uni you can chat with like psychologists, support staff or so on?

Can you find some casual work relating to the study you are doing?

I realise you are pressed for time with your study, but could you take up some volunteer work on a weekend, even once a month. That will help you find new skills, friends, self esteem, a different view on life and so much more. You might be amazed what is out there!

Hope some of this has helped. Please let me know how you are getting on.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools or Lauren

[Tizlak]

Hi Slinkum,
You mentioned that you are 20 and a uni student so I take it that your in your 2nd or 3rd year of uni? Because if you are I think you should make your weaknesses your strengths! You mentioned that Physically very slow and weak, if this is a serious issue i think you should have a checkup with your doctor just in case, if not you might just be looking for a job in the wrong field. Retail is quite tricky at times because it can get quite stressful as your manager expect you to as quick as possible and don't always appreciate when you are putting in your best efforts. 

I think it might be in your best interests to maybe look for a part time job as an assistant, front desk helper and even better yet you might even be able to get a paid internship in the field you are studying. Even an initial unpaid internship might lead to a job as well.

I hope it all comes together for you but don't feel disheartened if you apply and can't find work straight away. I was looking for a job for 7 months and got no calls or emails, then had three job offers in the space of the week, life is funny like that so keep your head high and keep searching!

Hope to hear from you when you get the job you dream of! Good Luck and happy hunting 🙂
-Tizlak

[Neil_1]

Hi there slinkums

Welcome to Beyond Blue and I’m glad you’ve been able to come along and post.

Firstly what stands out to me is:   you are working your way through a bachelor’s degree.   I know pretty much next to nuffink about Uni and all things associated with that, but I would hazard a guess that for someone to be aiming to complete a bachelor’s degree, they would be blessed with a hell of a lot of very usable and functional grey matter.   Which then makes me think that you should be perhaps aiming for something a bit higher than the retail work that you are currently doing – but then again, I’m guessing that this is just a stop gap measure, while you continue to study.

Once you’ve completed your degree, then you’d be no doubt applying for positions/jobs related or associated with your degree, I’m guessing?

With regard to work, it’s a beneficial thing on a number of different scales:   one, it occupies the mind and hopefully (generally) can keep the mind from diving down to the depths of despair, and also it provides you with the much sought after thing called:   money.

Also being 20yo, you’ve probably heard this so many times before, but there’s so much in front of you and things to experience, see and do.   There really ARE wonderful things out there to find out and behold – so try not to look too far down the line and to your future – that’s a biggie otherwise it can seem all too much and consuming for you and it can be too daunting.  Just take things bit by bit – and take it from me, who’s just turned the big five-oh, I’m 30 years on from you and I’m still wondering what I’m gonna do when I grow up.  🙂

Love to hear back from you though.

Neil

[PatT]

Hey slikums,

I feel your pain. Being a uni student with no cash is pretty limiting when it comes to social life. Have you applied for OzStudy? My parents earn a fair bit as well but I managed to get that under my belt. It's about $285 a fortnight which I supplement with some cash from babysitting.

Firstly, I would recommend getting into some physical exercise unless you have a medical conditions or whatnot. This will help you mentally and physically. I always feel heaps better after going to the gym or having a run. Get those natural endorphins flowing my friend. 

Also, try and get out. Spend time with your friends even if it means going for coffee or getting some food. I'm sure your parents know you need to have a social life and not spending time with your friends will only perpetuate how you're feeling right now. We're social creatures, we need to be around people.

Try and make a list of places you would like to work. I've worked in cafes, restaurants, supermarkets, flower nurseries, call centres, childcare centres. There are no shortage of options - just get out there and have a look. Think about getting a certificate like an RSA or RCG.

Life can seem pretty sucky when we're inactive so I urge you to try and spend some time doing things for yourself. Try cultivating some hobbies that involve you getting out of the house and seeing other people. Better yet, get yourself into some kind of sport.

I did kickboxing when I was about 18. I was grossly overweight, weak and slow as anything. Within a few months I'd shed about 8 kilos, was going for 5km runs (I did a half marathon last month, 21km) and felt like someone had breathed fresh air into me. It's a daunting prospect at first but give it a go, however reluctant you might be. And the uni situation? Stick it out, it might be tedious now but give it a few years and you'll slip your way into a decent job.

And remember, phases of poor mental health are always temporary. We're never bummed out forever. From my experience there is always a bit of light at the end of the tunnel, just keep moving.

[Narniakid]

Hi Slinkums!

Welcome to BB! It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate at the moment! Well done for battling through your uni work. Definitely look into getting some payments from Centrelink while you're studying, as you are a full time student I imagine and unemployed, you should be eligible for youth allowance.

You mentioned you were slow? Is this something you should see your GP about?

You can get things like your barista certificate that open up a different range of jobs for you, perhaps you would find a job in hospitality more appealing than retail? I know what you mean about retail - I work in it too and it is a pretty full on role sometimes. 

Definately come up with some goals you'd like to achieve in the next couple of years or so, and create a mood board with positive messages and photos, and hang it near your desk to remind you why you're putting in the hard yards and what you're working towards. Hopefully it will be able to keep you motivated on the tough days.

Remember that anything is possible - I suffer severe anxiety and depression, and I'm currently working towards a career in radio! Isn't that ridiculous sounding?! 

Anxiety thrives on avoidance, and negative thoughts are just reactions to fear. Keep strong!

Crystal

[Slinkums]

Thanks for the replies and kind words guys

Had a bit of a chat with my therapist about it, and had a talk with my parents. Therapist recommended I definately put off work till I get some momentum going in my studies, and parents fortunately agreed to give me a small allowance which should help me till then.

Will definately be looking into something from centrelink as while it thankfully isnt necessary now it would be good to take the weight off my parents.

Some people mentioned seeing a GP/physical training. I'm not sure theres really a medical reason for it; most people in my immediate family are generally just not very physically gifted. Daily excersize is of course something I aim for regardless, just as a general thing to combat my depression. 

In my last job I was cycling to and from work (about an hours worth a day), and the job itself involved being on my feet all the time stacking shelves, lifting and squatting etc. I lost some weight and felt myself getting physically stronger, which was nice, but I never really caught up to any of the other employees in terms of speed. I've tried vitamin supplements and improving my diet on the offchance it may be a  vitamin deficiency, but this is a long long term thing and no previous blood tests have picked up anything. Ill try to remember mentioning it to my GP but unfortunately I haven't the heart to cross my fingers in the hopes of solving that particular problem.