High School Labeling and Leadership

[Kel91]

Hello,
I'm 24 years old and my cousin is 15 and currently going through the fitting in and labeling stage of high school. She had me remembering my high school problems and I can remember that there was a lot of labeling even by teachers. You knew exactly which students would make the leadership team based purely on popularity. Our school captain also got given the same role in primary school as well as our male school captain. I knew of other girls who would have done a wonderful job if they were given the chance regardless of popularity. Our school captain wouldn't have a bar of us and she would skip classes to go smoke weed across the road..........this was suppose to be our role model. I knew I wasn't good enough to be a leader and none of my group of friends would have even bothered to nominate each other. I remember nominating a girl who was very caring, nice, academically strong and honest, yet she was a bit shy. If she had of been given a chance her confidence would have been lifted. Why is it that we all knew who would be given leadership roles? Why is it always the same students? Why is that the majority of us hated going to assemblies to pick captain and vice captains? You know your not cool enough to be a part of it yet you're forced to sit and watch the obvious be handed what they already got handed in primary school. Now I look back and think about how none of it really mattered.......I became a teacher and so did three of my other friends from high school and I couldn't be happier with life. I like to think I'm considerate and inclusive of all our school kiddies and we actually change leadership roles each term to give more students a chance to feel special. It's a shame high school can be cruel......trying to reassure my hormonal cousin though is as pointless as my mother trying to assure me back in the day.

[white knight]

Hi Kel welcome

Its no different in the workplace. People given supervision roles they don't deserve. It result often from befriending the boss. That is a part of human life. Annoying as it is.

The only thing we can do as individuals is to make the better decisions when we are in a position to do do.

I have a similar view to global warming. Apart from some minor changed to help it stop most major differences will be made by politicians. Because in not a Polly it is pointless me worrying about things out if my control. Worry causes ulcers.

Tony WK

[Narniakid]

Hey there Kel91,

Thanks for sharing. I can totally feel your frustration. I had a similar experience in high school, watching the popular get opportunities handed to them simply because of social hierarchy. It is excruciating to sit through, particularly when they get given an opportunity that you wanted.

I remember a girl all throughout my primary and high school years who seemed to get everything her way, and it caused me a lot of stress, until I just eventually gave up caring, because I knew that things wouldn't change until I left high school and didn't have to unfairly compete with people like her anymore.

Unfortunately, the best thing you can do for your cousin is tell it how it is, even though it may not fully reassure her. I remember people telling me that things would get better after high school and I thought it just wouldn't happen for me, but I've been out of school for a number of years now and I've never felt better.

Be honest, be supportive and be a good friend to your cousin. Some day she will thank you for it.

Crystal