Hi, I'm new here

teenytiny · ‎31-08-2016

Hey guys,

I know you don't know me but, I am really hoping to benefit from talking about how I feel to a supportive community.

So, lately I have been feeling really down and angry about various things going on in my life at the moment. I didn't really realise anything was severely wrong until one of my teachers called me to her office after class the other day. She was asking me what was going on and I started crying, I thought I was going crazy. I've spoken to her before about my struggles but, this time I couldn't let the words come out of my mouth. She told me if I didn't talk to someone about it by the following Wednesday she'd talk to me. Wednesday came and she said it was optional because I was so determined not to spill the beans. Thursday branded a new day and I couldn't cope, I knew I couldn't do it on my own so I gave her an overview what was happening before school started. We didn't really get too much into it because we only had a few minutes but, I don't really enjoy sharing my feelings. I feel they are personal, like intimate, one on one. I do believe I need some support and I am hoping to find it here.

This past week has really harboured more anger and hopelessness inside of me, with stress from both school and home taking it's toll. I have friends at school who love me and support me but, I am unable to confide in them. I have trouble trusting people. When you've been hurt too many times, it's difficult you know. Anyways, thanks for reading and by the way I am only 15.

Fairywings · ‎31-08-2016

Hi there lovely and welcome. I'm Venessa nice to meet you. You have definitely come to the right spot for support from this point forward u r no longer having to deal with this alone. If u find it hard to speak ur feelings write them down and give them to ur school counselor im glad u have seen her ib think she is a valuable person in ur life right now bc she can help you. You can also speak to headspace they help yp and bw 12 and 25 yrs old and u also have us and if things r becoming too much there is always kids help line xx you are safe here so please feel free to open up to us so we can help you further it was nice to have spoken with you please do keep in touch with us Venessa

blondguy · ‎31-08-2016

Hello....I'm Paul and just want to say how strong you are by posting and Good on You!

Venessa has given some great advice above about writing down whats on your mind (even just a few bullet points) and giving the A4 to your school counsellor. (the counsellor is bound by privacy regulations so you will be okay)

I dont blame you for being uncomfortable speaking to your friends..that can be a huge ask. Sometimes our friends just 'dont get it' I hear you loud and clear there

The forums are rock solid secure and a judgemental free zone to ensure your privacy. Only if its okay..can I ask you about any problems that you are having at home? (only if you are okay answering...if not..no worries)

There are many really kind people on the forums that can be here for you....I really hope you can post back...as many times as you wish 🙂

My kind thoughts for you

Paul

teenytiny · ‎01-09-2016

I have previously written down my feelings and given it to my school counsellor, though she wasn't very helpful (this is from last year). I know that she cares about me as she has reminded me countless times and that the teachers and staff at the school that knows about my issues are always willing for me to talk with them. I just feel as if I am needy or trying to get attention. Thank you heaps, you are a very caring person xx

teenytiny · ‎01-09-2016

Hey Paul,

I am totally open to talking about it. At home, I am emotionally abused by my mother. I know that I am because I have spoken to Kids Help Line before and what I had been telling my counsellor, she confirmed it. I used to be physically abused by her as well when I was younger but not anymore. My parents argue constantly about many different things. Yeah, that's pretty much it and thanks for being there for me. I really appreciate it 🙂

Fairywings · ‎01-09-2016

No in no way are u needy or seeking attention this is about you struggling with stuff and we r here for you xx u can also give the bb hotline a call or even headspace if u want to talk to someone. Thanks sweetie caring and helping is my purpose in life xx and im so glad that I can make a difference here xx I worked as a youth worker predominantly with young people aged bw 12 and 25 yrs facing a number of issues 😊 also i want u to start keeping a journal and whenever ur feeling down confused sad just write it all down that way ur not keeping it inside u. I'm glad ur school is supportive of ur issues and I'm so sorry there is constant conflict at home xx try to stay safe sweetheart especially when there has been past abuse involved. If you need to escape to ur bedroom and lock the door just to keep u from thinking u r losing ur mind then do so. I have also worked in child protection in their adolescent unit and would come across stories like urs all the time. It's so unfair for the child bc they r always the one's to suffer but ur not alone sweetheart you have us and please do keep in touch with us xx Venessa ☺

blondguy · ‎02-09-2016

Hi Teenytiny

Thanks for writing back. I am very sorry that you have an environment that would make anyone feel awful. You have done well for calling the kinds help line....Good on you!

You are not needy in any way. The support you have been offered is gold....and you are entitled to it. Your school counselor sounds like a legend. Do you have any brothers or sisters at home?

Thankyou for the wonderful compliment too 🙂

My Best

Paul

teenytiny · ‎02-09-2016

No, I am an only child. Which sometimes I feel puts a lot more pressure on me, like if I had a sibling/s I might be able to express my feelings or talk to them about it, especially if they were older siblings.

When I did contact Kids Help Line, I was doing really well because I was saying my feelings but my school made a report about my mum and I got really upset about it because I just wanted to say my feelings not cause anything. My mum found out because I felt so horrible that I had to tell her. I've just been, I guess, not allowing myself to talk to the school counselor or people from Kids Help Line because I felt so angry and disappointed in myself from previously. One of my school teachers, the one that kept me after class, is great. She keeps it confidential unless you want someone else to be notified about it and she told me that the main thing she wants me to do is that she wants to hear me talk about it instead of bottling it up because she also stated to me, when I was being stubborn to tell her what was going on, that bottling it up was dangerous and that I would likely explode. She seemed deeply concerned because of what I have said to her before.

Thanks again for this amazing support 🙂

Teenytiny

teenytiny · ‎02-09-2016

Thank you for the wonderful idea of a journal. I have just started writing it yesterday once I logged on to see your post.

There has been A LOT of abuse at home from when I was really little around 6 or 7. Both evenly physically and emotionally. Though from the age of around 12, it was predominately emotional because of puberty and hormones which she decided to use against me in a way, I suppose.

Thank you again for sharing a bit about yourself. It's really great to know 🙂 xx

Fairywings · ‎02-09-2016

I can see how angry you would have been when the school put a report in but i need you to know sweetheart teachers and schools are mandated to report abuse when they see or suspect it happening the reprocussion of this reporting isn't taken into consideration bc the child's safety is they're up most priority xx please keep talking to ur school teacher if that's who u feel comfortable with and u always have us as well to help you xx Venessa