helping a friend through depression

[solaris]

i've recently made a new friend, we've been talking to each other for about 3 weeks and he has recently opened up about his depression and i really wanna know how i can help him and what a could do for him. he told me he feels like he's just 'wasting away' and i'm not sure how i can help, i wanna be there for him but sometimes i really just don't know. I've started to develop feelings for him so i really care about him and i don't want him to hurt himself, i wanna be able to help him through this.

[kanga_brumby]

solaris hi one thing you can do is just be there for him. listen to what he is saying, reasure him. Let him know he is valued, to the community, and to you. That would be a good start, then repeat often

Kanga

[solaris]

thank you kanga, i'll defiantly try that

[MsPurple]

HI solaris

Kanga is right. One of the biggest ways to support someone with depression (or any mental illness or someone even going through a stressful time) is to listen to them and to be there for them. Sometimes with depression you just want to run away from your problems or just stay in bed all day. Just offering to hang out and chat is a really good way to help him. Distraction also helps and just hanging out will be a good distraction and may even put a smile on his face. With a lot of my friends I have opened up to them about my depression and anxiety. One of my friends asked me how to help me and I remember saying 'Just be my friend and be there for me and I'll be there for you'. I also told a friends I was really struggling and I was going to go see a counsellor through headspace (youth mental health service). I asked them to make sure I would go. If they ever need you to help them go to an appointment or for you to make sure they go (keep them accountable) that can also be a great support. That friend didn't take me but she reminded me of my appointment which I found really helpful and supportive.

Hope this helps. I am so glad you are trying to be there for your new friend. It shows how much you care and it also shows us your character. Kind and caring 🙂

[White_Rose]

Hello Solaris

Welcome to the forum. One thing you can do is to learn more about depression and anxiety. Beyond Blue has information which you can download or send for. There is also information for family and friends which can give you more confidence in what you do. Go to the drop down list under The Facts at the top of the page.

Listening to your friend is a very good option. You are a safe person to confide in and hopefully you are non-judgemental. It's important not to tell your friend what to do, unless asked and still be careful. Most of us don't like being told what do. When we are depressed it simply makes us feel worse.

I don't know how severely depressed your friend is but I do want you to understand that if he talks about suicide you need to take action. School or uni counsellor if you are still at school/uni, your GP. If you are worried in any way you can phone the BB helpline on 1300 22 4636 which is open 24/7. These people can offer you very good advice.

Does your friend take any medication and/or is seeing a counsellor?

When talking with your friend, allow him some time to talk about his problems but change the subject after a short while. It's not good for him to go on recycling his problems and it's not good for you to be constantly exposed to this sort of talk. Introduce a new topic and say firmly you want to talk about this for a while.

Hope that helps.

Mary

[solaris]

thanks mary, he was taking antidepressants but i think he recently stopped. he occasionally goes to headspace but i don't think he thinks that helps. sometimes he will often joke about his depression cause he says its how he deals with it, if he ever jokes about suicide i remind him I'm there and how many people love him and he is needed by many people.