Hi Adam,
Sufferers find anxiety difficult to understand because it defies reason and logic. No intellectual understanding can make a dent on it because it depends on a different area of the brain (the one in charge of the fight and flight response). I used to have bad anxiety attacks too and found them very frustrating. They didn't make sense to my reasoning brain but kept happening anyway.
What makes perfect sense is that anxiety is even more difficult to understand for those around us...which means they often end up saying/doing unhelpful things that can lead to unresolvable arguments...and so despair on both sides.
I suggest you scroll down to the bottom of this page and have a look at the "Facts" section. It will help you figure what your gf -and yourself- are both up against. Also check the "Supporting someone" section.
You don't mention if your gf has been seeking medical assistance. Though it involves the mind, anxiety is a medical condition and should be regarded and treated as such. So -if she hasn't done so already- encouraging her to talk to a GP would be a good start. Anxiety often has deep-rooted causes which need working on.
Both research (for both of you) and treatment (for her) would help improve the relationship. Kudos to you for caring enough to reach out and share your concerns.
Kindest thoughts.
