Feeling overwhelmed, stressed and anxious a lot of the time

[Lily426]

Hey I'm new and I'm not really sure what I'm doing here and don't know where to start.

I had trouble with a phobia of birds last year though I think that I have that partially under control now after seeing the school counsellor and no longer feel that it impinges on my daily life.

However now I've been feeling really stressed and anxious even though most of my exams and assessments are over for the term. I get extremely nervous and stressed before, during and even after social situations/events. I worry about if I'm dressed right, if I'm in the right place and if I'm on time. When I'm running late I become overwhelmed and try to contain it though I start sweating, especially in my palms, become shaky and feel the need to fidget with something to distract myself - whether it be a hair elastic or my necklace. Lately I've been feeling a weight on my chest and feel like I've just constantly been needing to take a deep breath, but when I try it doesn't help. When I don't have school work to do and have lots of spare time on my hands I feel at a loss for something to do and waste hours on the internet sitting in my bed.

Sometimes I start to feel anxious for no reason and I become overwhelmed easily, feeling the need to cry. I have trouble expressing myself to my parents and friends, generally being quite a private person, I become extremely embarrassed when I cry, even in front of my mum and will do whatever I can to hide it.

I put a lot of pressure on myself to do well at school, being on a scholarship, and worry that they will take it away from me. If I don't do well in everything I do I become extremely sad and don't feel like I have to give it up but I blame myself for not trying hard enough and if other people can do it I should be able to.

I've told my mum that I thought I might have a problem with anxiety but she just said that lots of people feel anxious sometimes, I'm worried that if I tell her again and tell her everything that's happening she will say the same thing or that if I tell someone else they will dismiss it and I find it extremely embarrassing. I don't want to go back to the school counsellor because someone might see me walking towards her office. I find myself feeling quite anxious even posting on this forum in case someone I know finds it and works out it was me. I also worry that my problems are nothing compared to others and I'm blowing them out of proportion and being extremely self-centered.

Wishing you well,

Lily

[Lazykh]

Hi Lily,

Welcome to the beyondblue community!

What you are describing definitely sounds like the symptoms of anxiety. It sounds like your mum didn't realise quite how much of an effect it is having on your life when you told her. Sometimes it's hard to see for others. But you also know that you don't like how it is making you feel, and I can totally understand not wanting to go to the school counsellor. Let me say, there is nothing wrong with having anxiety, it doesn't make you less whole as a person or reflect on you negatively in any way. But I also understand that not everyone sees things that way and the 'stigma' can make it scary to go for help.

I would recommend getting an appointment with a GP, who can do a lot more than a school counsellor anyway. You could see one in a different area if you're worried about being seen, but there are also benefits in seeing your regular GP because they know you and your medical history. The GP could refer you for psychotherapy or prescribe something that you can take when you feel an attack. The thing that is good with anxiety compared to other disorders is that there are medications that you don't have to take all the time if you don't need them - SSRIs are great like this. You might start taking them every day, but you can drop off if you don't feel you need it, and when you feel an attack you can take another one.

I have anxiety from PTSD and this is what I do. Generally, I don't need them every day, but depending on how stressed I am I might have one, and if I have an anxiety attack I have two. It takes about 45 min to kick in and then I feel fine. Honestly, FINE! No anxiety!!! The first time I took this medication, I couldn't believe what it felt like NOT to have anxiety, because I'd lived with it for so long and it had become normal to me. The medication really changed my life and I've gone from being a total basket case with an eating disorder and an alcoholic to boot, to being able to enjoy life, look forward positively, and eating healthily and not drinking. So that's my own personal story with anxiety. Anxiety doesn't have to be a life sentence.

I hope you have a positive journey too.

Lazykh.

[ahw309]

Hi Lily, Welcome!!

Firstly, good job with gaining some control over your phobia, that's so great!

I relate to a lot of what you're feeling with going to the school counsellor, posting on here, and most of the symptoms and worries you've described. I am a very private person so I also have trouble expressing myself to parents and friends, which can make it harder to open up.

I agree with Lazykh, what you are describing sounds like anxiety, and even though it may be hard, it would be really beneficial to make an appointment with a GP.

I've often worried that I'm being self-centred and that my problems are nothing compared to others too. But please remember that even though your problems may seem small compared to some others, it doesn't make them any less important. You deserve to get any help you need so you can be happy and live as best you can, no matter what.