Feeling hopeless because I know what I want, but not how to change my circumstances

[hela_9]

I'm a female in early 20's who recently graduated with a bachelor's degree. I had a very difficult time with uni because I had to move back into my family home to save money after moving out to be closer to uni and reduce travel stress (I have anxiety). My family home has a lot of very distressing and traumatic associations, and living there now is my father and a male sibling. My father is depressive, an alcoholic, and mildly aspergers (very science-minded, no tact, doesn't pick up emotional cues well). I hate the city I live in and want to move to Europe, and after doing a semester overseas, it's confirmed my life goal to be there. I actually cannot live here, there's nothing I want here.

Since finishing uni, I've been mostly at home, writing applications for jobs inter-state (to get me at least away from my home city). I've applied to jobs almost every day, and im so bored and uninspired, because they are not what I want at all. I want to do post-grad or more study overseas. Or work overseas, but as a non-eu citizen, visa rules are very restrictive and require high-level employer/company sponsorship to stay longer than a year. As a graduate with no experience yet, I dont think this is an option right now.

The problem right now is I cant afford to study any more. Im unemployed, and im scared I wont be able to hold on long enough to save for study again later. It's been almost 3 months at home now trying to get an entry-level job, and I've only got rejections so far. Im applying as an inter-state applicant, but im ready to relocate as needed. Im just really worried that I wont have any job offers and il be forced to find something part-time in this city I cant stand.

I dont know what to do anymore. Most of my friends are back in Europe. I try to keep myself otherwise occupied, reading, exercising, writing, looking up other options, but it just makes me feel more pointless and stuck than ever. I dont know how to change my circumstances without the funds to do so. Anti-depressants have helped me hugely, but im starting to feel numb again. I'm missing out on life that I know I want, and I know where it is, I just cant get myself to it. dont know if I want to keep trying anymore.If anyone can offer experiences of getting away from

crap cities and re-claiming their direction in life, id appreciate reading it. Or just any advice I guess. Thanks.

[CrashCoyote]

Hi hela_9,

It must be very frustrating to be in your situation and from what you describe, just getting out of where you are must be a huge priority for you.

I have travelled to Europe a bit and the employment prospects there are not encouraging, unless you are in a field where demand is high.

Would you consider just moving to any big town or city you like the look of just to start fresh somewhere, even if it is just a job to get by while you work on the next stage?

Your dreams versus reality may conflict. Of course you would like to study more or do post grad work, but you have to buy food and live somewhere, so those basic needs must be met first.

I'd be interested to hear what you thinks of those options.

Kind regards, John.

[Intermay]

Hey Hela.

After spending all your time studying to work towards some thing you really really wanted is some thing to be proud of, and to have finished all of that with no bridge to the next part of your life would feel like a huge roadblock. 

You mentioned that you have tried other options to keep your self busy, perhaps your looking a little too far past your dream? If your struggling to be hired due to experience that's a good place to start. 

You didn't mention what you studied but this could be a good opportunity to use your education to get that experience you need. Where did all the people getting hired get the experience? Maybe even create your own! 🙂

Hope this helps.

[CrashCoyote]

Hi hela_9,

I was thinking about you and wondered how you are going.

Kind regards, John.