Feeling exhausted and lost

[BazM]

Hi, my name is Baz, Im an 18 yr old university student and I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder with panic attacks about 3 months ago. I have actually been suffering from anxiety for over 3 years but I managed to keep it to myself for a very long time because i didnt know how to explain it to those around me. At the start of this year, my anxiety became much worse to the point that I couldn't hide it anymore. I found it difficult if not impossible to leave the house and I was always coming with excuses to stay at home. I have become more and more isolated to the point I havent seen my friends in over 6 months. I can only concentrate on my study and even that is becoming hard to do. When i decided to seek medical help 4 months ago, my GP referred to me to a psychologist who I have been seeing since. For the first month, I thought i was getting better but after such a long time of suffering, it becomes almost easy to tell when you're lying to yourself. Now, Im on medication to help me but I still feel like im getting worse by the day. I feel like im just getting through each day just so i can go to sleep at night and forget about everything for a few hours. Lately, the anxiety has made me feel helpless and depressed. I go to see my psychologist because I have to and not because its actually helping me. Im so very exhausted, so so so tired. I'd be lying once again if i said suicidal thoughts havent crossed my mind. When the thought comes to mind, it almost catches me off guard and I try to quickly think of something else. I dont know what to do because i feel that even medical help is not having much of an effect. Thanks.

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[white knight]

Hi BazM, welcome to beyond Blue forums

When our car;s engine stops we go to the mechanic to diagnose the problem. We get medication for it in the form of , say a new distributor. So you drive from the garage and that's it.  But your car is 18yo and there are many components in it that need attention to keep it running well.

Same with out mental health. Seeking help, your GP then a Psychologist are the first and most basic and arguably most important steps to take. But it doesnt end there. Self help is also needed to keep your engine in tune. Deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle tension exercises can be googled as to the techniques required or ask you GP.

Other things to consider self help are- environment (older people might move tot he country) , avoiding customer service occupations or other stressful situations, financial restructuring (we now do direct debit) and family and friends....getting rid of the toxic person or distancing them.  And reconsider social media. Facebook etc can be a real negative.

I've done these over the last 25 years and my anxiety is nearly gone. I'm 58yo now. Medication remained for the first 12 years then I was able to go off it. think in terms of the long haul, no quick fixes. If prescribed medication stay on it. You might not think you need it but others should be the judge mainly medical professionals.  Take care

[BazM]

Thanks white knight,

It just feels like I've lost control of my life. My anxiety has me thinking twice about everything I do. I understand that my GP and psychologist are not to blame for my lack of improvement and thats what has me angered. It makes me feel like Im the one failing myself. I want to get better but I find myself falling at every hurdle. I still feel disconnected from my psychologist which is not his fault but rather my lack of belief. The reason I decided to post here was because I saw people with the same problem as me for the first time and I felt almost in touch again. It really means a lot to me that you went out of your time to post a reply.

[white knight]

No worries BazM,

You might lack confidence. Gotta admit that I was the same until 23yo when I was selected to attend a meeting in Melbourne once. That 30 minute meeting changed my life. I'm 58yo now and that meeting still effects me for the better every day.

It turned out to be a motivational speech. Briefly it went like this.

Bill was a insurance salesman. He had been in that game for 6 months only but hadnt sold one policy. Worry caused him to have a heart attack. His wife attended the hospital and asked Bill what he was going to do when he got discharged. Bill replied "I'm going to be a millionaire selling insurance". She laughed hysterically and it was her laugh that stuck in his mind. He used her laugh as motivation and when discharged he began to work hard.

He developed a plan. That every day where ever he was, he would alight his car at 11am and begin knocking on every door of the street he walked until every door was done. Some streets took a few days. Then one day he found himself in the middle of the city at 11am. So he began to knock. Every building every floor. Finally at a reception a boos of a large company told him to meet him at 4pm the next day "and bring along someone that knows about superannuation" he told Bill.

The next day Bill rode the elevator with superannuation expert Max. Max said "Bill, just introduce me then keep quiet , I'll do the talking".  They sat and Bill fell asleep at the meeting. An hour later Bill was woken and told to sign some papers. They left. Bill and Max rode down the elevator. Max said to Bill "so do you know what we just did" Bill replied "not really". Max said "we just raised the superannuation policy for that company by 2% for its many thousands of workers.. I am on a wage so I dont get commission but you do". How much saud Bill..Max said "About a million dollars" said Max.

Bill went home, sat in his chair and read the newspaper as he had done every evening. His wife entered. "How was your day Bill" Bill replied "Great darling, I sold a policy" His wife said "thats good - how much commission"....Bill lowered the newspaper and said in a slow voice...."one million dollars....and dont ever laugh at me like that again"  referring to her laugh in the hospital.

At the end of this true story Bill yelled out..."you can do anything with positive thinking". It shook me and many others that day.

It turned me into a different person. Id recommend these lectures to anyone. Read books on positivity and boosting confidence.  🙂