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Feeling disconnected, isolated, ?depressed

Reannan09
Community Member

Hi all.

I'm 24 years old, engaged to an amazing supportive partner of 7 years. We live together with room mates, and are moving out on our own and getting married next year. I work full time as a nurse, I graduated university and worked hard to get where I am.

Lately, I have been feeling very isolated and have been pushing people away, mainly my partner. I feel disconnected, like I don't care anymore. I have no other friendly relationships in my life other than family, my partner and work colleagues when at work. I recently joined a gym to see if I could get some more social activity. I've lost a significant amount of weight the past 4 years and have been working on my confidence. I feel when I'm at the gym I'm happy. I go to classes and try to socialise, but I find it hard as I'm a pretty quiet person. I like to be alone and am content with that, but sometimes I do like company.

So lately, my moods have spiraled. I get very angry, resentful and sad. My partner is suffering because of this too, we have talked on two occasions about how I'm feeling.

I just don't know what's wrong... I feel I need to reach out as its getting out of control. Thanks.

4 Replies 4

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Reannan, I'd like to welcome you to the site as it's never easy to post your first comment, so it's very brave for you to do this, thank you.
Living with other room mates is not entirely the best option, although I appreciate it helps pay the bills, sometimes interaction between all of you maybe a little difficult.
Not everyone is the same, in other words there are people who ooze with attention seeking skills and definitely show it, while others have an outgoing personality and want to be involved in everything that's going on around them, while others maybe submissive and go with the flow, so I suppose what you are is what you can cope with and whether you can handle those that are strong and dominating or whether this is something you don't like, but your personality is how you like to be.
Whether you feel as though you want to change and start to get a better social life, is up to you, maybe circumstances have made this change, so you feel entrenched in your behaviour, but you like going to gym, meeting people there and even talking with them, but as soon as you leave you feel alone.
I really understand how you are feeling and am very sorry for you, but I just wonder whether or not there is something else that is bugging you, and I say this with all my concern for you and would never want to upset you, so I would love to hear back from you. Geoff.

Zeal
Community Member

Hey Reannan,

Welcome to the forum!

Congratulations on your engagement to your long-term partner! At 24, having had a stable and loving relationship for 7 years is pretty amazing! I'm a 24 year old female too, and I've been with my partner for 2 years. Nursing would be so tiring, especially as you work full-time. You can be proud of your accomplishments in life, and I'm glad you recognize how much hard work you've put in with study and your career.

It sounds as though you may be emotionally overwhelmed by everything going on in your life; with full-time work, housemates to negotiate living arrangements with, a wedding to plan (or start to plan) and other life pressures. The weight loss is a concern - I had this issue in my very early twenties, and a low body weight (don't know if this is the case for you) can lead to psychological distress, low energy etc. I feel that seeing a counsellor would be beneficial. Going to your doctor (GP) for a referral is a good option. Alternatively, you could search for local counsellors or psychologists online.

I'm glad that you've talked to your partner lately about how you're feeling - communicating with him about this is crucial.

It would be great to hear back from you 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

Reannan09
Community Member

Thanks for your reply.

I think there are a number of factors bothering me.. Mainly the fact I have no friends to talk to other than my family and my partner. My partner is very extroverted and has a lot of friends. He finds it so easy to talk to people, and people even in public are drawn to talking to him. So when I need someone to talk to, or hang out with, it's usually him or my sisters. My partner has been through a lot in his life, including a parent dying from suicide, having depression himself and being suicidal. He also was abused emotionally. So I feel sometimes my problems aren't really significant enough. We do have a good relationship, we talk things out and are open an honest. I did find out a few years ago he was going behind my back talking to other people on the internet, exchanging pictures etc. He promised me nothing happened of this. We have moved past it but sometimes my trust for him is thin.

Also as a child, I feel I had slight some abandonment issues. My parents weren't the most loving or encouraging, I grew up in pubs mostly because one is alcoholic and the other was a gambler. As I child I never heard my parents tell me they loved me. Even at my university graduation my parents didn't say they were proud of me. They did provide the best they could at the time but I feel the weren't the best parents. At school, I was an average kid and had one or two friends but mainly was a loner. I've been a quiet person all my life.

Hopefully this gives you better insight to me.

Reannan09
Community Member

Thanks Zeal.

Although I love my job, it's very emotionally draining and hard to leave it at the door sometimes. Working full time is hard, I also maintain the house more than the others and feel like I'm solely living there to clean up after everyone.... Such is life.

Wedding planning isn't going to badly at the moment. I'm not too stressed about that.

I feel with my weight loss it's a form a control sometimes. I lost about 50kg during my studies and when becoming a nurse gained 20kg. I've been focusing more on my fitness levels and trying to not have the control I had last time which is working better.

I would speak to my GP about it, I have no idea where to start.. It's a hard topic to talk about. My emotions spiral out of control a lot, I feel the GP may blame my birth control on this. I've been on several natural hormone remedies to see if this is correct, it hasn't really made a difference. I haven't had my hormones tested either.